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    17 Chrissy Teigen Tweets That'll Make You Say "Same, Girl, Same"

    "Threw up in the cab into a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos."

    1. On spotty WiFi:

    i am basically just refreshing websites until i fucking die i guess

    2. On the male anatomy:


    3. On Googling:

    4:30am, eating a sausage mcmuffin and looking up the gestation period of animals

    4. On drama:

    The 30 seconds of cold skin and hair post-shower...not worth it to me anymore. I no longer wish to shower again.

    5. On dietary restrictions:

    i have been vegan for 12 hours and I've said it 14 times today

    6. On goal-setting:

    the only skill i am currently working on is getting a 5.0 uber rating and i am not fucking kidding

    7. On emotional support:

    Sometimes I catch myself holding my nail lady's hand back and realize the extent of my loneliness

    8. On makeup:

    i don't even get what a bb cream is and now you're telling me there is a cc


    9. On first-world problems:

    Hate this macbook relationship. "When do you want to update?" "Later" "later today or later tomorrow?" Oh my god just fucking LATER

    10. On standing up for yourself:

    I am horrifically ballsy in every way except telling a waiter they got my order wrong

    11. On fashion:

    I have some kind of disease where I look ridiculous in shit most other people look cool in


    12. On going with your gut:

    Oh fucking god I can't fit my pants and I'm not even wearing at them I can just look at them and know

    13. On faking it:

    my whole life is pretending I listened to voicemails so I get it

    14. On staying young:

    I'm at the age where I want to eat beef stew but then still go "be around cool people" after

    15. On seeking praise:

    I'm not looking for a huge round of applause when I fold my inflight blanket when leaving but like a small group gently clapping would be ok

    16. On social media:

    are Instagram ads tailored to you because mine are all seasonal sadness and taco bell

    17. And finally, on partying:

    Threw up in the cab into a bag of cool ranch doritos. This hangover is no joke. Also I'm pretty sad about my doritos.


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