1. If you don't text her back right away, she knows you're dead.
2. She feels excluded when you’re at work
3. When you can’t talk it’s because you’re cheating on her
4. Nancy is most likely your fling—not your mother, or aunt
5. She’s intimidated by your therapist or any other close relationship you have
6. "Boys Night"
7. If you don’t realize she’s being passive-aggressive...
8. When you tell her to "relax"
9. She cries when she’s: sad, happy, scared, thrilled, excited, depressed, euphoric, stable, unstable, awake, asleep
10. Her best friend is also crazy
11. She says thank you by screaming and picking a fight
12. When you reschedule your date
13. When she calls, and you respond with a text
14. If you text her "hi." or "hey" or "sup" or "hi buddy"
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