bobble
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    • bobble

      What I don’t get is the comments about not looking for attention/fishing for compliments when complaining about these characteristics. I really don’t mean this to sound rude or mean, but I literally don’t understand what people mean when they say this. If you really think you’re ugly, or some part of you is disgusting, I do not understand why you would bring it up, regardless of how accurate you think your opinion might be. If you think it’s probably fine, then you’re asking for attention, if you think it’s ugly, aren’t you putting people in an awkward position by bringing it up? Surely you’re forcing them to lie to make you feel better? I am ugly, this is just true. I also used to have anorexia. There is no situation in which I would ever discuss my appearance with people because it’s just awkward. Me saying I feel ugly, even if I do, and am, is fishing for compliments or selfishly asking other people to lie to me so I can feel better. Why say it if it’s not to get other people to disagree? Disagreeing is literally the only socially acceptable response - no one’s going to say ‘yeah, I know right, you really are’.  I knew even in the depths of anorexia that talking about my body was inappropriate. Yes, I was insane, but I also knew that I’d be an ass to comment on how fat I felt when I was 90lbs. There’s a difference between being ‘fat’ when you’re saying you don’t feel like the skeleton you’d like to be, and genuinely seeing an obese person looking back when you can objectively see that your BMI is underweight and you are in a mental hospital. I was mad, but not that mad! I felt fat, but within the context of my illness; I didn’t literally think i was obese, and other anorexics I’ve talked to have all said similar. So, can anyone tell me what they are looking to get from these conversations, when you say you aren’t fishing for compliments or attention? Conversations aren’t just ‘letting people know what you feel’. They’re a back and forth where you do consider potential responses to your comments before you make them… otherwise you’re just ranting at people and you must make pretty terrible company (I’m aware that’s what I’m doing here).