Everything You Wanted To Know About Lesbian Sex But Were Afraid To Ask

    If Blue Is the Warmest Color has taught us anything, it's that people sure are confused about lesbian sex. Let's have a quick little crash course here. Slightly NSFW.

    Blue Is The Warmest Color, a new French film about a young woman's first lesbian relationship, has caused a lot of controversy because of the prevalence of lesbian sex scenes.

    The sex is also pretty unrealistic. This shouldn't exactly surprise anyone, considering the movie was directed by a straight man.

    In fact, this is what the author of the graphic novel, Julie Maroh, wrote about the scenes in the film:

    Now, as a lesbian....
    It was clear to me what was missing on the set: lesbians.
    I don't know the sources of information for the director and the actresses (who are all straight, unless proven otherwise) and I was never consulted upstream. Maybe there was someone there to awkwardly imitate the possible positions with their hands, and/or to show them some porn of so-called "lesbians" (unfortunately it's hardly ever actually for a lesbian audience). Because—except for a few passages—this is all that it brings to my mind: a brutal and surgical display, exuberant and cold, of so-called lesbian sex, which turned into porn, and made me feel very ill at ease. Especially when, in the middle of a movie theater, everyone was giggling. The heteronormative laughed because they don't understand it and find the scene ridiculous. The gay and queer people laughed because it's not convincing, and found it ridiculous. And among the only people we didn't hear giggling were the potential guys too busy feasting their eyes on an incarnation of their fantasies on screen.

    SO. Let's run through a crash course.

    Let's start off with a basic lesson, which is illustrated here:

    Sex between two women is something many people really just can't grasp.

    But, unfortunately, many lesbians don't start out understanding it either.

    The truth is, you can create your own definition of sex. No one's stopping you!

    But here's a helpful flowchart just in case you need some help:

    And here's an in-depth guide if you still need some help:

    Let's keep in mind that dildos are not, in fact, penises.

    And, yes, the wearer can get pleasure from wearing dildos.

    And, surprise surprise, even femme lesbians wear strap-ons!

    But lastly, let's remember that almost everyone, including lesbians, is confused by the idea of scissoring:

    But this is the truth, most of all:

    Yep. Nailed it.