1.

2. "I hope you choke on a low-fat dick!"

3. "Ohmygod, you can't eat in here." *Shoves food in face*

4. "You're not fat and you're not thin and you look like you've been drunk for a week... bulimia! Am I right?"

5. "I think I whored myself out for this mug..."

6. "Frodo, you are terrible with women and I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that you'll die alone."

7. "I think his mom hates me and wants me to die in a fire." "Like an explosion or just a regular house fire?"

8. Thanks for reading!
I'm going to go rewatch the episode for the 20th time, now...