1. Socializing under the guise of Tupperware parties.
2. Multitasking with mom-like reflexes.
3. Being embarrassed by her kids in public...
4. ...and then publicly embarrassing them into doing their chores.
5. Ordering pizza — the kind only she likes.
6. Joining a gym for the free daycare and smoothie bar...
7. ...and saving her real exercise and reading time for before bed.
8. Pocketing cash from the laundry.
9. Pretending to like her kids' culinary monstrosities...
10. ...while testing experimental recipes on her own family.
11. Taking full credit for the frozen quiche.
12. Tricking her kids into eating healthy.
13. Using dessert as a reward — for herself.
14. Skipping a page or two in the storybook.
15. Sending the kids to bed early so she can have her own version of time-out, with wine.
16. And celebrating once the baby monitors are turned on.
