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Living In New York City As Told By Paquita La Del Barrio

Welcome to New York, inútil.

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1. When they kick you out of the club at 4 a.m. and you were just starting to get turnt:

Mezcalent / Via telemundo.com

2. When you walk past a Halal stand and reek of gyro for the rest of the day:

Univision / Via mv.univision.com

3. When you see a bunch of dudes ignoring the fact that there's a standing pregnant woman on the subway:

TV Notas / Via tvnotas.com.mx

4. When you think your train is making every stop but it turns express out of nowhere and you end up in Connecticut:

FE/Armando Arorizo / Via eldiariony.com

5. When you are talking crap in Spanish about someone and then hear them talk Spanish too:

YIKES.
Televisa / Via espectaculos.televisa.com

YIKES.

6. When you split an Uber from the airport and your fare is, like, $32 instead of $590:

BENDITO SEA UBER POOL.
Via enfoquenayarit.com

BENDITO SEA UBER POOL.

7. When the scent of fuming hot trash hits you while walking down the street:

Guat-da-faq.
Agencia MVT / Via diarioportal.com

Guat-da-faq.

8. When the person next to you on the subway keeps dozing off on your shoulder:

¡Señor no soy una cama!
Via periodicoelnacional.mx

¡Señor no soy una cama!

9. When you promise yourself you are going to quit junk food but can't stop eating New York pizza:

You wake up next to pizza every goddamn Sunday.
Via youtube.com

You wake up next to pizza every goddamn Sunday.

10. When you're really enjoying yourself at the karaoke but it's past 5 a.m. and the staff forces you out:

¡PÉRENSEEEEE... ! ¡ME FALTAN TRES DE SELENA... !
Via debate.com.mx

¡PÉRENSEEEEE... ! ¡ME FALTAN TRES DE SELENA... !

11. When you run into your ex and politely wave but inside you're like, "WTF there's nine million people in NYC, WHY is this happening to me?":

Redacción ESTO / Via estoenlinea.oem.com.mx

12. When people stop visiting you from all over the country and you finally get a weekend to yourself:

NETFLIX: Mi cuerpo está listo.
Univision / Via tiempo.com.mx

NETFLIX: Mi cuerpo está listo.

13. When you are trying to get somewhere but there's a group of eight tourists walking slow AF in front of you:

14. When your three months of summer are ending and you realize you are not ready for seven months of winter:

Univision / Via youtube.com

15. When you're walking out for brunch at 2:30 p.m. on Sunday...

José Alfredo García / Via tabascohoy.com

16. ...and take a sip of your mimosa and feel yourself coming back from the dead:

Yaammm.
Via sociales.com.bo

Yaammm.

17. When you want to go to the gym but see you have nine happy hours on your calendar that week:

18. When you look at your bank account after paying your rent:

RIP chance of living a decent life.
Via vevo.com

RIP chance of living a decent life.

19. When you don't even have to order at the bar because they already know you always drink tequila:

20. When you pay cover to get into the swankiest club only to realize it's completely dead:

Chingada madre.
Staff Photoamc / Via diariobasta.com

Chingada madre.

21. When you realize you are, regardless of the struggle, living in the greatest city in the world:

The best things at three price points