1. So first you make the mistake of reading this mega-effed up book that deposits you on some messed-up island. And it doesn’t take you long to realize that unless you’re a fucking genius, you’re stuck there.
8. Ahh! In the library, you somehow get two special books talking and it’s these crazy dudes Sirrus and Achenar who are like “bring me the blue pages!” or “bring me the red pages!” And you’re like, um, get them yourselves. What am I, your maid?