16 Vintage Underwear Ads That Will Give You Nightmares

Much hair.

1. What kind of rollerskating establishment is this???

2. Ahhh! Visions of exploding private parts!

3. They’re saying, “don’t be afraid to look sexy,” but what they don’t tell you is “looking this sexy will make people afraid.”

4. Spoiler alert: This doesn’t end well.

5. There is a third person somewhere in this ad. And that is terrifying.

6. His chest hair is actually a Rorschach test.

7. Someone needs to discipline this child before something very, very bad happens.

8. The very definition of inappropriate student-teacher relationships.

9. This guy has the creep stare down.

10. I’m sorry for this. I truly am.

11. So do these guys just always go out like this? Is this a new Williamsburg trend?

12. Guess your invitation to the most exclusive underpants party of the ’70s got lost in the mail.

13. This is the scariest third date scenario one could ever encounter.

14. This is a “health” vest? Does that mean regular underwear is unhealthy? Oh god.

15. He sees you when you’re peeing…

16. This literally is the nightmare you never want to have. And yet you always do.

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