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21 Totally Crazy Shoes No One Should Ever Have To Wear

These shoes suck. These shoes rule!

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Hi. We are Kristin and Leo, and sometimes we like to talk about fashion. Today, we are going to talk about the wild and wacky world of shoes. Before we start, here are our shoe-related thoughts:

Sam Slipper for BuzzFeed


Kristin: Dude, I love shoes. It's the only clothing item where I tell people my size and ALL THE LADIES BE JEALOUS.


Kristin: When looking for a pair of booties to buy, I always hope for something that truly says, "Please do not compliment me on my shoes, because if you do, I will definitely make you a pair just like them for Christmas."

Leo: Kristin, let me ask you a question. Can you picture me, sitting next to a fire, sipping hot cocoa, wearing these...and nothing else?

Kristin: I can.

Leo: That's all I need to know. Thank you.


Leo: Cue up the Phish and hand me a Nature Valley granola bar; it's 2001 and I am ready for Bonnaroo!

Kirstin: I think Birkenstocks are a good way to tell the world, "The bottoms of my feet are currently very dirty, and if you don't like it, that's your problem."

Leo: "And smelly." No offense.


13. Chloe Fur Moon Boots, $695

Kristin: Look, if you're going to kill an adorable fuzzy creature to make a shoe, at least kill one big enough to cover the whole shoe. I mean, that's just being professional.

Leo: These were all over the runways in 2015 in Winterfell.

Kristin: I have a personal policy not to wear anything that looks like a bug.

Leo: How in the??? There has to be a situation in which these are incredibly problematic, right? I can't look at these anymore. I can feel a panic attack coming on.

16. Simone Rocha Ballet Slippers, $282.83

Kristin: I feel like these shoes really simulate what it's like to have five cats living in your home.

Leo: Yes! Every time I find a shoe that's been hiding under the bed for a couple weeks, it looks just like this. I didn't know I could be charging bank for them, though.


19. Vivienne Westwood Tracy Trainer, $855

Kristin: Do you think regular tennis shoes look at this thing in horror?

Leo: Many shoes died to make this one shoe. **Mourns**

Kristin: I feel like if tennis shoes were conscious beings, this would be their version of Frankenstein.

Kristin: This shoe looks like the Abominable Snowman sat down on a block of ice and is really just trying to evaluate his life right now.

Leo: Pretty sure these are made of the stuff they put in walls. What's it called? Fiberglass. So, true, they may keep you insulated. They may also give you cancer if you eat them.

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