15 Times Spam Mail Was Straight Up Drunk

    Explain yourself.

    Leonora Epstein
    by Leonora Epstein

    BuzzFeed Staff

    1. "Can't get pussy?" is a legitimate question from a bride emoji.

    2. He's happy to contact you via email. In case that wasn't already evident.

    3. Oh, hey! It's totally Brad Pitt emailing you. It's his second job. Times are tough.

    4. This is strangely compelling?

    5. Dear! Doris wants to be your friend. And that is definitely her real name.

    6. Wow. If you dropped 21 pounds in a month...you might be dying.

    7. When Joe Biden tells you "you're great," something just seems off.

    8. Hey, haven't you ever heard that it's not the size that counts; it's the motion in the ocean?

    9. Who knew joining the Illuminati could happen over email?

    10. She's lost her pussy...and she don't mean cat. Which, when you think about it, is very disturbing.

    11. Hahahaha this is totally the real Jessica Alba.

    12. Why are you so nosy?

    13. Big Willy style right here. Nanananananana. Nananananana.

    14. Of course, any logical person would click a link called "new thingy thing" sent to them by someone they don't know.

    15. And here is either the creepiest spam or...an actual email from a serial killer.