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15 Times Spam Mail Was Straight Up Drunk

Explain yourself.

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1. "Can't get pussy?" is a legitimate question from a bride emoji.

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2. He's happy to contact you via email. In case that wasn't already evident.

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3. Oh, hey! It's totally Brad Pitt emailing you. It's his second job. Times are tough.

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4. This is strangely compelling?

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5. Dear! Doris wants to be your friend. And that is definitely her real name.

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6. Wow. If you dropped 21 pounds in a month...you might be dying.

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7. When Joe Biden tells you "you're great," something just seems off.

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8. Hey, haven't you ever heard that it's not the size that counts; it's the motion in the ocean?

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9. Who knew joining the Illuminati could happen over email?

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10. She's lost her pussy...and she don't mean cat. Which, when you think about it, is very disturbing.

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11. Hahahaha this is totally the real Jessica Alba.

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13. Big Willy style right here. Nanananananana. Nananananana.

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14. Of course, any logical person would click a link called "new thingy thing" sent to them by someone they don't know.

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15. And here is either the creepiest spam or...an actual email from a serial killer.

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