1. Great, another business trip.
2. I can't be a wreck when I travel. Must keep it together.
3. Although, chances are, Colleague X is also a wreck when traveling.
4. Maybe this will bring us closer together?
5. Hmm. Should probably avoid being a mess all together — very unprofessional.
6. Yes. I will be totally professional. I will have my fancy carry-on and my hair will look perfect.
7. Will be like Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air.
8. Should I ask Colleague X to go to the airport together? Is that weird?
9. It's not like we carpool to work together...why would we ride together for this?
10. What should I definitely NOT talk about?
11. What mistakes have I made at work recently? Definitely don't reference those.
12. Should I suggest we get a drink before the flight?
13. Everyone needs alcohol before a flight.
14. Even at 11 a.m., right?
15. Just one drink. Do not get too drunk.
16. I mean, but drinking is OK, right? We have happy hour after work all the time. This is no different?
17. Except it is. Because you are traveling with your work colleague.
18. We are representing our company.
19. This is actually kind of fun. We're having an alcoholic beverage, discussin' THE BIZ like COOL BUSINESS PROFESSIONALS.
20. Do I admit my fear of flying?
21. No, no. You want to seem very impressive.
22. Just one more drink, maybe.
23. OK. Boarding time. Do I ask if we're sitting together?
24. Is it weird to sit together?
25. No, you are technically traveling together, so you should sit next to each other.
26. Oh shoot, we're in different aisles. Do I ask if we ask someone to switch?
27. This is awkward. If it were a friend or S.O., of course we'd be sitting next to each other on a plane.
28. OK. Now we're sitting next to each other.
29. These seats are...close.
30. Do I look straight ahead while talking? Or turn to look at my Colleague? WHICH IS MORE PROFESSIONAL? I AM TRYING TO BE A MODEL EMPLOYEE.
31. Time for takeoff. Just be calm. Don't talk now. Now is not a talking time. Do not make that bad joke about the CEO's wardrobe.
32. It's not a funny joke.
33. Except we're both not talking now and I don't like this airplane because it is very bumpy.
34. Ugh, of course you just made that joke about the CEO's wardrobe. Dumb.
35. The beverage cart is coming through.
36. I could sure use another drink. But should I...?
37. FUCK IT. Yes, I would like a vodka tonic.
::Avoids all eye contact with Colleague::
38. Act natural. You are not being judged.
39. Now I'm just going to pretend to go over those notes for the meeting. VERY SERIOUS NOTES.
40. Maybe I should try and sleep?
41. No. What if you snore.
42. Do not sleep.
43. Oh god, TURBULENCE!
44. Do not freak out. You cannot look like a little baby when you are hoping for a promotion.
45. You must show calm under pressure.
46. This is all a test.
47. And I have failed. I will never get promoted again.
48. OK, stop it. We are all just human.
49. It is OK to be a wreck while traveling, right?
50. Just smile and talk about how excited you are to meet VERY IMPORTANT CLIENT.
51. Ignore the bumps.
52. This isn't so bad, right?
53. And it's only a few days.
54. You can make it.