10. We’re delayed due to a “mechanical issue”?!
New plane, please. This plane is broken. Broken!
11. Time for takeoff. Oh god oh god. WHY IS THE PLANE NOT FLYING YET. WHY ARE WE NOT IN THE AIR?
Isn’t there some other statistic that says like one billion percent of accidents happen within the first 20 minutes of flight? One Mississippi, two Mississipppppiiiiiiiii, threeeee…
18. What was that noise? This is it, oh GOD THIS IS IT WE ARE GOING DOWN I AM SURE OF IT.
Why is no one else freaking out?
- Athletes probably won't break records at the Rio Olympics. Scientists say most top performers have reached the limits of human biology.
- Bernie Sanders' former press secretary says she experienced repeated incidents of racism from other staff while on the campaign trail.
- Sixteen people died after a hot air balloon caught fire and crashed in Texas Saturday.