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    18 Things All Writers Wish They Could Say

    "I just sold my book for one million billion dollars, so consider this my two weeks' notice."

    1. "I write every day."

    2. "I can spend the entire day pouring thoughts onto the page."

    3. "Amazing ideas just naturally come to me."

    I definitely do not have a list of book ideas that includes "space hipsters." Nope.

    4. "I can structure the plot of a novel in my sleep."

    5. "Editing is the best part of writing."

    6. "I actually enjoy chopping up the first draft of my novel into pieces. It doesn't make me anxious at all."

    7. "I can probably produce a polished draft of my book in six months."

    8. "I enjoy getting critiques on my work. I never take criticism personally."

    9. "I just got a book deal!"

    10. "There was even a bidding war. I can't say how much it sold for but you can read the Publisher's Weekly item that quotes a 'high six figures.'"

    11. "My book is ranked VERY high on Amazon."

    12. "It's a New York Times best-seller!"

    13. "My book has just been optioned — it's gonna be a movie!"

    14. "Meryl Streep is considering playing the lead in the adaptation of my book."

    15. "I never get writer's block."

    16. "Auto reply: I will be unable to respond to your email as I am currently researching my third book in the South of France."

    17. "You want to know MY tips for writing?"

    18. "My problem is that I write TOO much."