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18 Things All Writers Wish They Could Say

"I just sold my book for one million billion dollars, so consider this my two weeks' notice."

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5. "Editing is the best part of writing."

Don't worry, the red ink only follows me into all my nightmares.

6. "I actually enjoy chopping up the first draft of my novel into pieces. It doesn't make me anxious at all."

Maybe if I just change the font...


9. "I just got a book deal!"

The deal is that I'm working on getting a book deal.

12. "It's a New York Times best-seller!"

And definitely not because I just purchased 1,000 copies of my own book.


15. "I never get writer's block."

Like what even is that amirite lololol?

17. "You want to know MY tips for writing?"

Many alcohols.

18. "My problem is that I write TOO much."

Or it will be, once I stop procrastinating.