In 1997, at the height of Spicemania, the Spice Girls gave an interview with Rolling Stone. It was...interesting.
As the Spice Girls take their seats, Mel B picks up her cloth napkin and uses it to rummage around inside a nostril...'Everyone picks their nose,' shrugs Geri. 'President Clinton picks his nose.'
2. Peeing in places one should never, ever pee.
They were in Taiwan, she explains. They couldn't get anyone to understand their English, and they couldn't find the toilet, and they were bursting. So Geri and Mel C went into this room...
'I don't think it was a temple,' argues Mel B.
'I think it was a ballroom,' says Mel C.
. . . where the two of them squatted down in a corner and, in fits of giggles, peed onto some towels they found there. Stepped away from the sodden towels. Walked out.
3. Dirty panties in the hair.
When a Spice Girl goes back to her hotel room...she will want to put her hair up. Sometimes she will use a scrunchy, but as often as not...with a pair of underpants twisted into her hair...She may insist on clean underwear for this purpose, though if she is Mel B, she will be happy enough if the underwear has just been taken off. 'My knickers don't smell, anyway,' says Mel B.
4. Mel B and her understanding of the Internet.
At an AOL press conference...
'I don't know who AOL are,' [Mel B] says. Then she is told, and she gives her answer: 'I love America Online. It's a chance to speak to the world.' (Mel B is clearly not an expert on these matters. Afterward, she will point at the computer monitors and ask, over and over, 'I want an Internet. Can I have one of these?')
5. Oh, the period blood.
'Geri's irregular,' says Mel B. 'Only me and Emma are solid ones.'
'Niagara Falls, I am,' says Victoria.
6. On why the Spice Girls movie would succeed...
There have been, I point out, far more terrible pop-star films than good ones. Why do they think it's going to work?
'Because,' says Mel B, who has shoved a bread roll down the front of her shirt, 'I've got a third tit.'
7. How they act around royalty...
Geri decides, upon meeting Prince Charles, to pinch his butt:
'It wasn't bad,' she says. 'How old is he? Fifty-odd? It was like a waterbed. Something to grab hold of. He tensed it quickly.'
'Prince Charles was holding in a fart when he saw us,' asserts Mel C.
8. Doo doo ca ca poo poo.
'You know what's the greatest pleasure?' asks Geri. 'When you're dying to go for a pee, when you get there and have that pee.'
'What's even better . . .' begins Mel C.
'Is when you have a pooh?' suggests Mel B.
'No, when it's freezing cold and your wee's dead warm,' says Mel C.
9. This is NOT a good idea...
Mel B has an idea. 'Who can do this?' she asks, grabbing the tablecloth.
'I don't think you should do that,' warns Victoria.
Geri grabs a piece of tablecloth, too.
'Yeah, go on,' says Emma.
There's no way they'll actually pull. It's a large, round table overloaded with food and smart hotel porcelain and glasses and bottles and jugs. . . .
They do it. Glass and china smash everywhere.