1. yes = I’m just trying to be clear. Also, I might not like you.
2. yup = I got this.
3. yep = I got this and you’re my best friend and/or I’ve seen you naked.
4. yea = This affirmation comes with doubt or a caveat. You’re probably annoying me.
5. yeah = I’m hoping you’ll keep texting because I’m not sure what to say.
6. yah = I don’t know.
7. YAAAAASSSS = I am so into this idea, I am as happy as a teenager high on salvia.
8. yeses = While I am perfunctory and businesslike, I try to be lighthearted in my communication.
9. yesssssss = Whatever you said didn’t previously occur to me. You are a genius.
10. yesyesyesyes = Like “yesssssss” but with more urgency.
11. y = I fully realize I am being passive aggressive in my response by potentially making you think I’m saying “why?”
12. k = I’m driving/busy/in a meeting/in a situation I probably shouldn’t texting you.
13. ok = I don’t really give a shit.
14. okay = Like “ok,” but different.
15. ok. = This conversation is over.
16. ok… = I’m not actually ok with this.
17. ok! = Got it! And I legitimately care, which is impressive in this day and age.
18. okie = I’m cute! Don’t hate me!
19. OK = I’m your dad.
20. cool = I’m trying to be cool. I want to see you naked.
21. kewl = I’m trying to say yes without pissing you off.
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