1. Ally on cargo pants. 2. Jamie on cargo pants. 3. Ally on finding bliss. 4. Ally on losing bliss. 5. Ally on total despair. 6. Jamie on the thing no child has ever said. 7. Ally on being a tortured artist. 8. Ally on how she's justifying the non-college thing. 9. Ally on the things she'd like to learn. 10. Ally on life-and-death issues. 11. Jamie on life-and-death issues. 12. Ally on the ethics of being neither of these people. 13. Tommy Hilfiger on the heinous denim skirt his traitor daughter bought from Ralph Lauren. 14. Tommy Hilfiger on that D-bag, Ralph Lauren. UGH U SUCK, RALPH. 15. Jamie on her own genius. 16. Ally on motherhood. 17. Ally on never having to remove one's shoes before getting on a plane. 18. Ally on the painful and complicated decisions one must make. 19. Jamie on possible urination incidents.