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    17 Stages Everyone Goes Through After Being Embarrassingly Drunk

    Cue painful flashback.

    Stage 1: Ignorance. You wake up hungover but momentarily unaware of the details of last night.

    Sony /

    Gee whiz, I sure got trashed last night ...

    Stage 2: Confusion. You begin to gather memories of last night, but they're cloudy, so you're not sure how bad/embarrassing they are.


    Did I talk to that person that I secretly hate?

    Stage 3: Concern. Realization that you may have acted like a damn drunk fool last night.


    I DID talk to that person I secretly hate. But what did I say?

    Stage 4: Reconnaissance. In which you begin to gather information from your friends.

    The CW

    Text: Hey, so was I stupid drunk last night?

    Stage 5: Confirmation. Your friends confirm what you hoped so hard wasn't true. You got into a big mess last night.

    The CW /

    Text from friend: YES, YES YOU WERE VERY DRUNK I'M SAD TO SAY.

    Stage 6: Denial. You momentarily wonder if it was really that bad.

    Stage 7: Remembering. Now everything from last night begins coming back ...

    Stage 8: Flashback. Thus commences the shame spiral.


    I can't believe I fell over. Nine times. WINCE WINCE WINCE.

    Stage 9: Panic. You go through all of your photos, texts, and social media to make sure there is no further damage.

    And there is, of course.

    Stage 10: Flashback. AGAIN.


    But whyyyy did I have to send those texts? UGHUGHUGH.

    Stage 11: Frantic apologies. You text anyone who may have seen you acting like a fool.

    Please don't hate me.

    Stage 12: Unnecessary disclosure. In your campaign of apologies, you apologize for something the offended party wasn't aware of.

    The CW /

    "I'm so sorry I called you dumb lame lady dumb ass."

    "Uh, you did?"

    Stage 13: Justification. A feeble attempt to rationalize your drunken behavior.

    NBC /

    Well, I hadn't eaten all day ... and I'm kind of emotional lately, so ...


    Where is that Men in Black memory eraser thing when you need it???

    Stage 15: Seeking comfort. In which you relate your story to a friend not present for your night of drunken horror in hopes they will tell you, "It's not that bad."


    Please just make me feel better.

    Stage 16: Moving on. Either you begin to realize it wasn't so bad, or enough time passes for you to feel like a decent human being again.

    It happens to the best of us, right?

    Stage 17: Making promises. You've learned your lesson.

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