28 Reasons You Should Never Visit Paris

    Totally blasé on this city.

    1. First of all, everyone knows you should NEVER visit Paris in the winter. It's disgusting.

    2. And in the winter months, there's nothing fun to do there.

    3. The food is terrible.

    4. Probably because the French know nothing about presentation.

    5. You can't even get a normal, decent sandwich in this city.

    6. You'll never once feel like you've been transported back in time.

    7. And you definitely won't feel like you're living in a dreamy fantasy as you walk the streets.

    8. You'll never find those hidden gems only locals know about.

    9. Because pretty much everything in Paris is a tourist trap. You'll never find anything off the beaten path.

    10. If you go on a weekend, you'll be completely let down by brunch.

    11. You don't really need to see Sainte-Chapelle in person. Looking at a picture of it is pretty much the same thing.

    12. Your Airbnb might resemble this dump:

    13. You'll hate sitting by the Seine. It's so cliche, you'll want to scream.

    14. The desserts are mediocre at best.

    15. And the croissants are nothing to write home about.

    16. And it's not romantic AT ALL. They should just call it the City of Whatever.

    17. If you want to get a drink, it's all chi-chi cocktails; you'll never find a cool bar where you can be yourself.

    18. The sunsets are just "meh."

    19. The bookstores will be beautiful but useless to you since you're not about to read Balzac in the original French.

    20. And there's no cool place to get a good cup of coffee and chill.

    21. You'll go shopping and you won't be able to afford anything.

    22. The buildings that house museums are just as boring as the art in them.

    23. There's no natural beauty in Paris. None whatsoever.

    24. I mean ... BARF. Am I right?

    25. Everywhere you turn, it's more of this: Puke puke puke.

    26. Ugh. So tired of this already.

    27. Yep. Over it.

    28. BYE. Never going here ever.