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28 Reasons You Should Never Visit Paris

Totally blasé on this city.

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1. First of all, everyone knows you should NEVER visit Paris in the winter. It's disgusting.

2. And in the winter months, there's nothing fun to do there.

Ice skating at Hôtel de Ville.

3. The food is terrible.

Dinner at Les Papilles in the 5th.

4. Probably because the French know nothing about presentation.

Lobster salad at Chez Julien.

5. You can't even get a normal, decent sandwich in this city.

Frenchie To Go's famous pulled pork sandwich.

6. You'll never once feel like you've been transported back in time.

7. And you definitely won't feel like you're living in a dreamy fantasy as you walk the streets.

8. You'll never find those hidden gems only locals know about.

Passage de l'Ancre in the 3rd.

9. Because pretty much everything in Paris is a tourist trap. You'll never find anything off the beaten path.

Find la Petite Ceinture, an abandoned railway line, for a magical walk.

10. If you go on a weekend, you'll be completely let down by brunch.

You'll want to try the pancakes at Holybelly.

11. You don't really need to see Sainte-Chapelle in person. Looking at a picture of it is pretty much the same thing.

12. Your Airbnb might resemble this dump:

What a dump.

13. You'll hate sitting by the Seine. It's so cliche, you'll want to scream.

14. The desserts are mediocre at best.

15. And the croissants are nothing to write home about.

16. And it's not romantic AT ALL. They should just call it the City of Whatever.

17. If you want to get a drink, it's all chi-chi cocktails; you'll never find a cool bar where you can be yourself.

18. The sunsets are just "meh."

19. The bookstores will be beautiful but useless to you since you're not about to read Balzac in the original French.

Librairie Galignani is the oldest English book store in Paris. And it's beautiful.

20. And there's no cool place to get a good cup of coffee and chill.

Cool kids go to The Broken Arm in the 3rd.

21. You'll go shopping and you won't be able to afford anything.

Merci is a concept store with fancy fashions and products, but also a range of trinkets, homegoods, and jewelry that's quite affordable.

22. The buildings that house museums are just as boring as the art in them.

The inside of the Musée Rodin.

23. There's no natural beauty in Paris. None whatsoever.

Parc des Buttes Chaumont must be seen with your own eyes.

24. I mean ... BARF. Am I right?

The Luxembourg Gardens on a gorgeous day.

25. Everywhere you turn, it's more of this: Puke puke puke.

Flower boxes on the Hôtel Relais Saint Germain.

26. Ugh. So tired of this already.

The gardens of the Musée Rodin are redonk.

27. Yep. Over it.

Love locks are overrated though, tbh.

28. BYE. Never going here ever.

Sunset on Ile St. Louis. Heaven.

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