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28 Reasons You Should Never Visit Paris

Totally blasé on this city.

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1. First of all, everyone knows you should NEVER visit Paris in the winter. It's disgusting.

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2. And in the winter months, there's nothing fun to do there.

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Ice skating at Hôtel de Ville.

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3. The food is terrible.

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Dinner at Les Papilles in the 5th.

4. Probably because the French know nothing about presentation.

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Lobster salad at Chez Julien.

5. You can't even get a normal, decent sandwich in this city.

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Frenchie To Go's famous pulled pork sandwich.

6. You'll never once feel like you've been transported back in time.

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7. And you definitely won't feel like you're living in a dreamy fantasy as you walk the streets.

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8. You'll never find those hidden gems only locals know about.

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Passage de l'Ancre in the 3rd.

9. Because pretty much everything in Paris is a tourist trap. You'll never find anything off the beaten path.

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Find la Petite Ceinture, an abandoned railway line, for a magical walk.

10. If you go on a weekend, you'll be completely let down by brunch.

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You'll want to try the pancakes at Holybelly.

11. You don't really need to see Sainte-Chapelle in person. Looking at a picture of it is pretty much the same thing.

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12. Your Airbnb might resemble this dump:

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What a dump.

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13. You'll hate sitting by the Seine. It's so cliche, you'll want to scream.

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14. The desserts are mediocre at best.

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15. And the croissants are nothing to write home about.

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16. And it's not romantic AT ALL. They should just call it the City of Whatever.

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17. If you want to get a drink, it's all chi-chi cocktails; you'll never find a cool bar where you can be yourself.

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18. The sunsets are just "meh."

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19. The bookstores will be beautiful but useless to you since you're not about to read Balzac in the original French.

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Librairie Galignani is the oldest English book store in Paris. And it's beautiful.

20. And there's no cool place to get a good cup of coffee and chill.

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Cool kids go to The Broken Arm in the 3rd.

21. You'll go shopping and you won't be able to afford anything.

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Merci is a concept store with fancy fashions and products, but also a range of trinkets, homegoods, and jewelry that's quite affordable.

22. The buildings that house museums are just as boring as the art in them.

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The inside of the Musée Rodin.

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23. There's no natural beauty in Paris. None whatsoever.

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Parc des Buttes Chaumont must be seen with your own eyes.

24. I mean ... BARF. Am I right?

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The Luxembourg Gardens on a gorgeous day.

25. Everywhere you turn, it's more of this: Puke puke puke.

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Flower boxes on the Hôtel Relais Saint Germain.

26. Ugh. So tired of this already.

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The gardens of the Musée Rodin are redonk.

27. Yep. Over it.

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Love locks are overrated though, tbh.

28. BYE. Never going here ever.

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Sunset on Ile St. Louis. Heaven.

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