Because you'll never have to style your hair with the same ribbon that came with your Teleflora order.
Because you'll never have to wonder what's hidden in someone's hair.
Because your hair and makeup combo will never scare small children.
Because your school photo will never look like this.
Because your hair will never look like an overgrown Chia pet.
Because you won't ever run the risk of bringing this photo of Demi Moore to your hairdresser.
Because Nicole Kidman will never be this adorably scary ever again.
Because you'll never have to spend a million hours teasing and combing to look like Alyssa Milano.
Because your boyfriend will never have interest in joining a hair band.
Because you will never look like you've been to hell and back — on purpose.
Because you'll never have to worry about looking like this in your glamour shot. Because no one does glamour shots anymore.
Because you'll never be mistaken for a poodle.
Because you'll never be the '80s version of Pauly D.
Because you'll never have to be upstaged by David Bowie's hair.
Because your hair will never look like a crimped antenna.
Because you'll never look like an '80s Ron Weasley.