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If Disney's "Beauty And The Beast" Were Told Honestly

How about let's be NO ONE'S guest.

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6. Belle's father, an "inventor," gets lost on his way to a fair, where he's hoping his invention takes first place. But now he's lost in the woods and going to miss the fair and that's pretty crucial considering his entire livelihood was riding on this.

7. He trespasses and breaks into a nearby castle where he meets a cursed, talking beast, who's automatically like, "I hate you, dickhead. Get in my dungeon."


10. Although she leaves behind all her belongings, the castle is well equipped with amenities, notably an ample supply of women's clothing, which would presumably include underpants. They were just lying around in a drawer.


21. Nearly dead from the fight with Gaston — Baby Eater and Panda Murderer — the Beast lies helpless in the rain. Belle realizes she does indeed love this animal.

Disney / Via

~Simultaneously suppresses thoughts of oh my what would our babies look like?~

23. And they lived happily ever after. Moral of the story: You can't choose who you love.


Belle, after sex with the Beast: Hey, remember that time you were a wild animal and I almost agreed to be completely yours?

Beast: Heh. Yeah. LOL.