How "The Hunger Games" Makes You Question Everything
We re-watched the first Hunger Games and thought long and hard about dying. We are now very sad.
Before re-watching the film, we said what we remembered:
Erin La Rosa: Did you read the books?
Leonora Epstein: I did. Obsessed. You?
Erin: I read the books and I liked them. But I'm the kind of person, I mean, I read Twilight. I regret nothing.
Leo: I read Twilight. *bows head in shame*
Erin: How'd you feel the about the movie version of Hunger Games?
Leo: Pretty good, considering it's hard to make anyone happy when you adapt something this massive. Like, Harry Potter let me down. This kinda satisfied me.
Erin: I was mad about Peeta, because he's so short. He's such a short baby goose.
Leo: You say this, and yet you are relatively short. As am I.
Erin: Peeta and I are probably the same height.
Leo: Before we start, I'd just like to say that I went to a shopping event for the H&M Isabel Marant collection, and it was pretty much the Hunger Games. Battle to the death for the last bohemian jacket.
Erin: And I'd like to say that when this movie came out, I went to a midnight screening. I dressed up as Katniss. Like a psychopath.
Erin: What I want to know is — how do you get a leather jacket in District 12?
Leo: In the books, it belonged to her father, but yeah, good point. It also looks pretty tailored. Come to think of it...those boots? She's kind of got a whole woodsman-equestrian thing, like she walked out of the J. Crew catalog.
Erin: I have a leather jacket, and it does not look as good as Katniss' does.
Leo: I guess the one thing about The Hunger Games movie, which was unexpected, was how real and familiar it all looked. Like, those woods. New Hampshire or something.
Erin: Yeah, I expected them to be a little more dystopian future as well.
Erin: The Hob looks like a West Hollywood hardware hipster shop. I'd shop there.
Leo: There is that whole industrial chic decor trend going on. There's that place on Beverly with rehabbed metal things that cost like a million dollars.
Erin: That's where they got their props.
Erin: THERE ARE NO REDHEADS IN DISTRICT 12. Not one. As a redhead, this is deeply upsetting to me. There are also no black people. Or Asian people. OK, I saw one black person.
Leo: I don't think they have Xanax there either. That'd make this whole thing easier.
Leo: Can we talk about Hunger Games beauty for a second here because: PINK LASHES!!!! And, Effie Trinket has an ombre manicure. Those nails are the bomb.
Erin: Also, the braids in this movie. I'm really jealous that they know how to braid their hair like that. And it's these elaborate French braids too. That is some pretty shit.
Leo: And they don't even have Pinterest.
Leo: OK. let's talk about this scene. The "reaping."
Erin: Not to sound like a psychopath, but this video they show, about the glory of Panem, I wish I could make one for my life. I want to be a dictator is what I'm saying.
Leo: I want to be a housewife who has Pilates lessons every day. I think you have to live in the Capitol for that.
Erin: I'm a monster.
Leo: Anyhow. Do you think you'd do that for anyone? Volunteer to die for them? Like, who is important enough in your life?
Erin: I think I would. I hope I would. Maybe? That's hard, though, because it's gender specific, and I don't have a sister… Would I do it for my mom? Duh.
Leo: I don't think my sister would let me. But she also hates the outdoors, so I don't think she'd be very good in the Hunger Games.
Erin: But I feel like I would win.
Leo: I think that you would win, too. I'd die first.
Erin: Important question. Team Peeta or Team Gale. This will say a lot about you as a person.
Leo: No pressure there. I feel like Peeta because their whole bonding experience was pretty intense and kinda sexy. Gale would kind of always leave you wanting more. Then again, you always want what you can't have. That didn't answer the question. What about you?
Erin: I think team Peeta. I like artistic types.
Erin: Which Hunger Games character do you think you would be?
Leo: Hmmm...Rue? No — Haymitch. What about you? Besides Katniss.
Erin: I feel like Effie and I would get along.
Leo: But she's so mean!
Erin: She has an appreciation for mahogany tables, and her outfits are fierce. Like, I die for that magenta jacket.
Leo: I identify with Haymitch. Because I don't like people and I like to drink.
Erin: Haymitch looks so good. Sorry, but he is a really attractive drunk with that pirate hair and the whole vest thing.
Leo: Not my type, but he might be fun to get drunk with, like once. If you were angry and felt like getting drunk.
Leo: What would you do at the start — would you run or go to the woods?
Erin: I'd run for the closest little thing.
Leo: So kind of like Katniss did. I'd run. I'd stop, drop, and roll.
Erin: I'd also be eyeing those big boys and being like, I'll stay the fuck away from you. I'm so short. Me and Peeta.
Leo: Do you think you have the skills necessary for survival in the Hunger Games?
Erin: Well, I'm from Florida. And we eat some weird shit down there. Like, Katniss is totally going to town on some squirrel. I've eaten squirrel before.
Leo: Is that legal?
Erin: Totally. And it tastes a lot like chicken.
Leo: *silently judging*
Erin: Do you know how to light a fire? Because I do not. Again, Florida, it's already hot where I come from.
Leo: No. But something tells me it's not about rubbing two sticks together.
Erin: I do not know the names of any wild berries that are poisonous either. I'd eat that damn nightlock.
Leo: Me neither.
Leo: OK. Gross question. What do you do if you have your period?
Erin: I guess you get a leaf and, like, make it a pad? Like a little leaf boat?
Leo: Leaves aren't absorbant.
Erin: What else could you use?
Erin: Me too.
Leo: The whole hygiene thing...
Erin: Yeah, I was thinking about the scene with Katniss and Peeta in the cave. And they go for that kiss, and I just kept thinking that their breath must be STANK.
Leo: Do you think they film them when they have to go to the bathroom?
Erin: I think they cut away. Maybe there's a separate channel for people in The Capitol who have a pee fetish.
Leo: I feel like what's never addressed is how Katniss clearly had an advantage from the beginning. Like she knows how to survive in the outdoors.
Erin: Yeah she'd be fine. She's got her bow and arrow. She's scrappy.
Leo: When she shoots down those apples and blows up the food...I mean, obviously Katniss is a genius.
Erin: No one gives her enough credit for that. I'm not sure who the no one is that I'm referring to, but NO ONE gives her credit.
Leo: I'd see those apples and just be like, mmmm apples.
Erin: This does kind of make me want to take up archery, though. I'd be terrible at it, but I want to try it.
Erin: Rue is dyin'.
Leo: OMG this part. Is this what dying is like? I feel sad.
Erin: Yes, this is what dying is like. A pretty lady sings to you and you're surrounded by beautiful trees.
Erin: When Katniss finds Peeta on the ground...good for him, but I can't think of anything less sexy than my lady finding me covered in artistic mud. Like, this is a nightmare for him.
Leo: Definitely the best part of the movie.
Leo: OK, we're almost at the end.
Erin: This poor hot man with a weird beard is about to die.
Leo: How long do you think he waited until he ate the berries?
Erin: I don't know, but I would rather starve to death, I think, than give Snow the satisfaction.
Erin: Now it's the end... how do we feel?
Leo: I feel both relieved and freaked out about Katniss and Peeta. I also feel that this movie forces me to contemplate my own mortality.
Erin: Let's get drunk.
Leo: It's what Haymitch would want.
All photos courtesy of Lionsgate/Netflix.