1.
Great. Now you are forever known as the sad girl obsessed with Teflon.
2.
Or the cat who was roped into posing with a sad single woman.
3.
This outfit should be burned.
4.
Hourglass figure=FEMALE SEXUAL READINESS. Fact.
5.
OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY.
AND EVEN MORE! Whyyyyyyyyy.
6.
Anybody can be cool! Except for the people on this book cover.
7.
All I can think about is the amount of pool bacteria flooding this girl's mouth.
8.
She finally achieved her modeling dreams — posing for a book cover "at her biggest."
9.
No Sweat! You can even sniff her armpit to check.
10.
This one time, at computer camp...
11.
Later in life, this child will look at this and go, "Great. Now I'll forever be known as the girl holding a chicken."
12.
FYI, this lady is God's Callgirl.
13.
All that's missing here is Blue Steel.
14.
I mean. I'm sure this seemed genius at the time.
The cover for this book, however, is deceptively benign. Because inside...someone's grandma is practicing this:
