A Cautionary Tale About Dating "Sesame Street's" The Count

Oh, he does love thee and he WILL count the ways.

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Your first date starts off innocently enough...

After all, you're Susan Sarandon, so life is good. But the night starts with a hiccup: the car breaks down in the rain, and so you and The Count must knock on the door of a nearby house. The Count is trying his best to lighten the mood.

But you give him a second chance because when Liam Neeson played The Count in the movie version of his life, it was oh-so-sexy. (Skip to 1:30.)

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And you discover that you can't keep up with his — ahem — "style." Maybe if you stick it out for a few years, he'll calm down.

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I count slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster

Once I've started counting it's really hard to stop

Faster, faster. It is so exciting!

I could count forever, count until I drop

He's horrible at his day job and when he gets fired — yet again — all he talks about is counting the number of times he's been fired. Having a serious conversation with this man is impossible.

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