3. The second is the gift of song.
Really, I can think of about 1,000 more useful things right now other than the gift of song. Sure, if Sleeping Beauty had to make a career for herself, maybe this talent would get her on The Voice or something, but maybe something like “the gift of good health” or “the gift of a charitable heart” would come in handy?
5. After Maleficent sets the curse upon Aurora (that she will prick her finger on a spinning wheel and die on her 16th birthday), King Stefan orders all spinning wheels to be burned.
Just pointing out the obvious: 16 years is ample time to manufacture new spinning wheels.
6. And so the plan is to keep Aurora hidden for the next 16 years. Her parents (and it’s implied that they had a hard time conceiving) just willingly give up their baby?
And now this kid’s identity is completely replaced with a new one and her new name — Briar Rose — is kind of a weird one.
14. So the fairies bring Aurora to the castle…clearly before the sun has completely set. Why does no one err on the side of caution here?
Folks. The evil lady specifically said that the princess will prick her finger on a spinning wheel before the sun sets on her 16th birthday. Keep this shit on lockdown until it’s dark. Or, heck, wait a day or even a week. A belated birthday party isn’t really all that bad.
15. And so in order to deal with the problem, the fairies put the entire kingdom to sleep.
This is pretty messed up and pretty passive. Instead of alerting the parents, these chicks are basically like, “Crap. We left the girl alone. It’s our fault. How can we get away with this?” And they do. NO ONE KNOWS THIS HAPPENED. After Prince Phillip delivers the kiss, everyone wakes up and continues their conversations.
16. And they’re just one big happy family? Just like that?
If this were real life, Aurora would probably still be calling all the fairies her real moms. Now she’s stuck with these people she doesn’t even know. And is about to get married at 16. So many mistakes, Sleeping. (Also, is that another one of your first names? It’s a horrible name.)
- It's Day 2 of the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. Here's what you need to know.