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16 Times Costco Failed So Hard It Almost Won

Large bears everywhere.

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1. When these two ginormous bears got it on in the middle of the store.

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Get a room!

2. And when they really took it next-level.

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Oh, it appears this is what you think a "room" is.

3. When it sold this 7-Up flavored cake. How it's "naturally flavored lemon-lime" is beyond me.

So do you serve a glass of 7-Up with it?

4. When it tried to sell winter coats in a goddamned heatwave.

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Maybe they are magic coats that reflect all heat.

5. When they offered this candle, so you could fill your home with the sweet aroma of "monkey farts."

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So do you think this smells more smoky or tangy?

6. This. Whatever this is.

IDK.
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IDK.

7. When this definitely-not-possessed-by-the-devil dog stared you down as you waited to get your picture framed.

"Master?"
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"Master?"

8. This nearly $10,000 barrel of whiskey. No one needs to be that drunk.

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Or maybe they do.

9. Christmas in summer. TOO SOON, COSTCO. TOO. EFFING. SOON.

Santa's not happy about this.
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Santa's not happy about this.

10. This box of..."diabetes"?

????
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????

11. When they sold this giant box of Nerds, practically ensuring that half of your salary will go to your dentist.

Cavities included!
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Cavities included!

12. When they knew what was for dinner: shredded chihuahua.

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NoooOOooooOoooOOOOooo!!!

13. When they sold discount caskets.

"And finally, I wish to be buried in a discount casket. Preferably one from Costco."
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"And finally, I wish to be buried in a discount casket. Preferably one from Costco."

14. When someone minded the sample booth for wayyy too long.

Should have retired sooner.
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Should have retired sooner.

15. When they tried to get you to buy $2k worth of cereal.

The apocalypse is nigh! Stock up now!
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The apocalypse is nigh! Stock up now!

16. And when their bread apparently starred in a movie called Costco Fresh Baked Bread with "Scratch Bread Matthew" in the lead role.

Guess they're trying to win a Coscar?
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Guess they're trying to win a Coscar?

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