20. Ordering five mimosas shouldn't make you guilty
Mimosas should bring joy, not regret.
19. You should be selective on who buys you drinks
With cash in yo' pants you no longer have to be that person who accepts a drink from anyone.
18. Your wardrobe needs a post-grad makeover
The broke-student look is only hot if you're a broke student. Or an androgynous, Asian bartender who goes by a single letter like "B". B makes broke sexy, you don't. Buy some new clothes.
17. Getting your credit card declined is humiliating
Sure, you know that your getting paid in 4 days. But, the cashier at Express doesn't and she is judging you. Plus why are you shopping at Express?
16. And you deserve to live somewhere fabulous
Imagine the day when your toilet and bed are not in the same room? And, let's be honest, the "up-and-coming" neighborhood you live in smells like feet.
15. Asking your parents for money is not an option
From the moment your parents loan you money every single purchase you make will be questioned. "If you didn't have money how come you could afford to buy Cool Whip?" Just don't do it!
14. Splitting a bill shouldn't give you a heart-attack
Going out to dinner with your friends shouldn't stress you out. Sure everyone has a stingy friend that always has a reason for you to cover her. But, with a little extra savings you can be like, "bitch, whatever, watch me pay for everyone!"
13. Prices tags should not scare you
$170 is a lot for jeans. But, you've been saving. You deserve it. 4 for you Glen Coco!
12. You deserve to up your standards
You're taking care of yourself, you've got your priorities in check. Why would the new you date an unemployed 27-year-old whose parents pay their rent?
11. It's time to be taken seriously
Once you start getting your life in order people will notice. Heads will turn.
7. Being the broke friend is getting old
At this point your friends invite you out offering to pay for your drinks.
6. You just want to be classy
Sure, money can't buy you class. But, it can pay for the classy dress you wear while you drink your classy drink. So what if your acting like a hobo from New Jersey.
5. You've got stuff to buy
98% of it you most likely don't need.
4. You've run out of creative presents to give your mom
She did love the poem you wrote and the papier-mâché espresso cups. You're 25 now. It's time to buy presents.
3. You have no more excuses for why the rent is late
You're at the point where you don't even try to fake it. But, if you see your landlord you run.
2. Your bank statement shouldn't make you cry
It's like you're living in another reality when you go shopping.
1. One day you will be old
One day you will be older and wrinklier, and you will need money to care for your aging self. Better to start now. And have kids, that's what they're for!
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