1. You rock the pata sucia (dirty feet) look every weekend.
Although you never recall taking your shoes off.
2. You’ve perfected the walk of shame.
Straight into your weekly breakfast of shame, of course.
3. You disappear so often that your friends downloaded a GPS app onto your phone to track your every move.
It’s for your own safety, really.
4. No one can recall what happened at the bar, but your bank statement shows that you went HAM.
5. You wake up with random bruises all over your legs.
And you pray that it was because of vigorous dancing.
6. You get loud with the McDonald’s drive thru attendant when it’s 5 a.m. and they’re not serving breakfast yet.
You’ll follow this up by saying that you own stock in the company in the hope that they’ll at least let you have a McGriddle.
7. Your toilet has been a trusted confidant on more than one occasion.
8. You always come home with ripped clothing or broken shoes.
You also lose jewelry on the reg.
9. You’ve given up looking for your dignity.
That bitch is long gone.
10. You haven’t met an elevated surface that you didn’t like dancing on.
Pool tables, pizza counters, bars. You name it.
11. Your friends are always on high alert around you.
Not getting into bars (or getting kicked out early) is a common occurence.
12. You watch reality shows like Bad Girls Club and The Real World and laugh at how tame they are.
13. Your thought about every girl or guy at the bar.
And you aren’t even three beers in.
14. Large chunks of the night are mostly a blur.
15. How you feel every Sunday morning.
16. But at the end of the day, this is your personal mantra.
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