You have nearly gotten into a fist fight with an auto guy over the rateYou have wished horrible things on some auto drivers, and you have shared your life secrets with some other auto driversWhenever friends from other cities talk about how great their place is you have shut their argument down with the ₹120 ticket cap for theatresYou know who the Aandavan of Alwarpet isYou've gone to the 4 a.m. show at Rohini Theatre for a Thalaivar releaseYou've stood in line for a ₹10 ticketYou've stood in line at a TASMACYou don't have any shame in asking your foreign return friends to pick up copious amounts of booze from the duty free store for you, because TASMACYou used to have a bootlegger before "elite" TASMAC openedNow you know which of the Elite TASMACs have the best stuffIt's taken you a while to digest, and accept the fact that Anna Nagar and Shollinganallur are considered "city limits"You've watched the sun rise at Elliot's beachYou've watched the sun rise at Marina beachYou've watched the sun rise at Thiruvanmiyur beachYou cannot get enough of the maanga and kadala sundal at the beach despite your mother's warnings about its possible effects on your stomachYou've shot balloons at the Marina beach and felt very dangerousYou've had biryani at SAMCOYou've had biryani at Velu MilitaryYou've had tiffin from a Kaiyendhi BhavanYour first pizza was from Hot BreadsYou've had food at Saravana Bhavan so many times now that it's literally the last place you'll go to when you're hungry...And yet, every time you travel, you end up going to an HSB branch at least once. AT LEAST ONCE. ADMIT IT.You've had chaat, jalebis and baadam milk at Mint StreetYou've had the keera vadai at Karpagambal MessYou can't stand sweet sambarYour school field trips/excursions have consistently been to Birla Planetarium, Egmore Museum, Guindy Zoo and Crocodile BankYour first "road trip" with your friends/cousins was to PondyYour vehicle has been checked by the police for booze smuggling on your way back from Pondy to the cityYou've bribed a policemanYou've refused to bribe a policemanYour vehicle has been apprehended and you have been made to blow into a policeman's breathalyzer while returning home lateYou've been to a kutcheri at The Music AcademyYou've frequented sabhas during the December music season not for the concerts, but for the canteensYou've seen a play at The Museum TheatreYou've taken the MTC bus to get aroundYou once passed on ticket change from the bus conductor that was actually meant for youYou honed your elbowing skills by taking the 21CYou’ve taken the suburban trainYou've taken the MRTSYou've taken the MRTS during off-peak hours and spent your time in the (empty) station and in the (empty) train praying that you don't get abductedYou hate the metro rail construction that's happening right now and blocking up all the roadsWhen a part of the metro was inaugurated though, you took a ride anyway, just to see what the fuss was aboutEach time you pass the first (and original) Landmark, you look in that direction and your heart sinks a littleYou've been to a cricket match at ChepaukYou've been to a rained out cricket match at ChepaukYou think, no, you know, that the greatest IPL team ever is the Chennai Super KingsYou know whose number 9841072571 isYou judge people based on whether they say "Chennai" or "Madras"Girls: Your first bra was from Naidu Hall. Boys: Those headless bra statues on Naidu Hall's display were a subject of endless fascination during your teenage yearsYou miss street shopping at Pondy BazaarYou have a guy at Ritchie Street who can fix any gadgetYou've gotten lost inside Spencer PlazaYou've gotten lost in Ranganathan StreetYou've always wanted to shop at Amethyst and Anokhi but ended up becoming too broke for it just by paying for the coffee thereYou still refer to Crowne Plaza as Adyar GateYou don't know from where this trend of adding "ji" to fully tamil sentences came from, and you don't understand it.You add "ji" to fully tamil sentences.Most of the swear words you know are those that you picked up while yelling at/being yelled at in trafficYou would never admit this openly - but you're actually not offended by the word 'Madrasi' because as far as you're concerned, you *are* MadrasiYou volunteered during the Chennai Floods of December 2015, and thought the whole 'Spirit of Chennai' thing was a little silly at first, but you don't ever remember being more proud of your city than you were then.
Get Above 45 On This Checklist To Prove You're Really From Chennai
Saar, neenga North Indian a? Because you sure as hell aren't from here.
Thambi, are you new to this city? You're as Chennai as Chennai Express right now, which is not particularly a good thing. But now that you're here, it's time you got to know it better.
So you're from Oragadam, which, if real estate ads are to be believed, is Chennai. But we all know that's not true. The good news is that you obviously like this city, so let's look at ticking off the rest of those items in this list, wokay?
You're a Chennai-ite! A Madrasi! You belong to one of the greatest cities ever. Thank you for making the city the awesome place that it is.
You're P. James. There's no other explanation.