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Why The Candle Diet Is The Worst Diet Ever

You can't survive on Yankee candles. Even if they are America's favorite.

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Feel like baking?

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

Are you an avid baker but feeling like it's time to lay down the whisk and hit the gym? Try "Brown Sugar & Spice." It'll make you feel like you're baking with your grandma. Only your grandma is thousands of miles away and you're sitting with a candle.

1 pound of brown sugar: 1,670 calories

Sugar candle: 0 calories

After dinner, dessert?

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

Not tonight! You're on a fake diet! Light up "Caramel Pecan Pie" instead and pretend you're sitting down with a slice of your own. It's just like the real thing...only it's absolutely not like the the real thing.

Actual slice of pecan pie: 503 calories

Candle pie: 0 calories

Really need to indulge?

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

Light up "Oatmeal Cookie;" Its warm and cozy and smells disturbingly like actual oatmeal cookies. Don't forget the milk and your dignity!

Actual oatmeal cookie: 65 calories

Candle cookie: 0 calories

Couldn't make it to Starbucks today?

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

Love Starbucks?! A Classic Chai Tea Latte from Starbucks could cost you 340 calories. UGH!

"Vanilla Chai"? 0 calories. Basic no more.

OR hop on the caramel bandwagon and light "Salted Caramel" up. This smells concerningly like you've just walked into a candy store on the beach. Only you're not on vacation with your family. You're in a dark room with a candle. If this doesn't get your sweet tooth nothing will.

Actual salted caramel: 120 calories

Candle caramel: 0 calories

Want to remember warm nights and summer bonfires?

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

Whip out "Campfire Treat" and pretend like you're getting your s'mores on, only with less friends and overall happiness. Perfectly sweet and sticky.

Actual s'more: 268 calories

Candle s'more: 0 calories

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Give your sweet tooth a healthy alternative.

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

Eating fruits is a great way to cut out processed sweets. Light up "Machintosh & Peach" and you'll find yourself strolling though the orchards being anything but basic.

Actual apple: 52 calories

Actual peach: 51 calories

Actual candle: 0 calories

Pretend you've arrived home from hunting and gathering your own food.

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

You'll probably eat a lot fewer calories if you have to actually hunt down your food in the wilderness, and you'll definitely be burning a lot more calories than just going to the grocery store. "Autumn Lodge" will make your reminisce about your Alaska frontiersman days. Hang up your rifle and relax.

Potential calories burned: 1,140

Candles burned: 1

Need a summer escape?

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

Fall and winter are tough times. Dark skies, cold winds, and snow drifts. Need to get away from it all? Grab a tiki drink and light up "Black Coconut." It'll remind you of sitting on the beach and rubbing suntan lotion all over your sexy bikini bod.

Not feeling the diet?

Lauren Zaser / BuzzFeed

Wrap yourself in a "Cozy Sweater". You're beautiful just the way you are! Snuggle up in a big sweater and surround yourself with your favorite candles for a perfect fall night with real food.

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