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10 Things That Are Probably Almost Definitely Maybe Less Orange Than John Boehner

*bangs gavel*

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As you can see, his tan is very very very fake and very very very orange. How he tans? Nobody has any clue.

(Some people say he rubs himself with Dorito cheese...I may or may not have started that rumor)

(This listicle is for entertainment purposes only. I seriously hope John Boehner never sees this, but I am willing to take that risk. It's all in good fun. I respect him as a human being and as a politician, even though I think he's dead wrong on basically everything. *walks away from computer drinking soymilk*)

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