Say hello to Claus Jørstad, a photographer and local politician in Alta, Norway, whose new claim to fame involves getting his genitalia stuck in a piece of Swedish furniture.
Jørstad had recently been kicked in the knee while working as a security guard. Since standing has been difficult, he bought a Marius stool from Ikea. This particular stool has a ring of large holes on it, which is where the testicle trouble began.
He was in the shower and the "soap and water made [my testicle] more slippery than Donald Trump's Teflon brain," Jørstad told BuzzFeed News. "So it slipped into the hole, and as we know, things expand when its hot."
He was stuck, and in the worst way possible. He sat there as the shower got cold around him, lost as to how to save one-third of his "skipper and two sailors."
Jørstad recounted his harrowing experience, at length, in a post on Ikea Norway's Facebook page. He ended by inquiring whether the stool is also available in yellow.
Ikea played along, suggesting Jørstad find a more appropriate location for the stool. He responded with his own solution.
Jørstad has since converted the stool to an attractive plant stand to lessen the risk of further trauma to his testicles.
As for becoming internet famous for getting a ball stuck in a cheap stool? He's pretty cool about it.