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7 Hilarious Suggestions From Newfoundlanders On How To Improve Their Province

Why not a lil communism?

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Things in Newfoundland and Labrador aren't so hot right now, economically, so the government asked its citizens to suggest ideas on how it can provide "quality services at lower costs."

What could possibly go wrong!

1. Well, the most popular idea so far is literally a communist revolution.

gov.nl.ca / Via dialogueapp.gov.nl.ca

"If we carry out the communist revolution then there would be plenty of funding to go around. We should be receiving the benefit of the resources that are taken from here and sold at profit by capitalist corporations. Why should they get rich from our resources and from our labour?"

With an average rating of 4.2 out of 5, this rather earnest suggestion is apparently a hit.

Another suggested option is a fascist revolution, which starts with "Alright so I know what you're thinking 'the nazi's were really bad,' but hear me out."

2. Or a good ol' fashioned purge.

Universal Pictures

In the Purge movies, a futuristic America allows its citizens to go on a 12-hour lawless, murderous, plundering crime spree with no consequences.

"This will fix all our problems!" according to LisaKeeping.

3. Another promising idea is giving free darts (cigarettes) to skeets.

gov.nl.ca

A skeet, one Newfoundlander told us, is "mostly a young white guy from St. John's who has been in trouble since a juvenile."

We bet they'd love some free smokes!

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4. While we're at it, let's just call in Guy Fieri.

giphy / Via media.giphy.com

One suggestion is to hire Fieri to revamp the menu at Ches's, a fish-and-chips chain.

"With a better Ches's menu more people will move back home to stimulate the economy and experience the true meaning of flavourtown brought to us by Guy Fieri using Ches's as his tool," the suggestion says.

Another suggestion, ~mysteriously~ written by a "GuyFerri," is to "Invest in finding a way to get to Flavortown."

5. On the other hand, why not make every day Big Mary Monday? For Jesus.

gov.nl.ca / Via dialogueapp.gov.nl.ca

Big Mary Monday, of course, is when you can get a chicken sandwich from Mary Brown's for $2.99.

And, because the person behind this idea truly cares for all people, they noted "Vegetarians can just pick off the chicken and eat the lettuce and bun."

Genius.

6. Or replace the tap water with beer.

facebook.com

Specifically, Blue Star.

"Well get rid of those flitration systems, they cost a fortune. Latch it all on a few kegs and replace it with that," wrote eversweet709.

"Next, imagine all da jobs. Everybody wants to make blue star, who don't wanna make blue star?"

Can't argue with that.

7. Finally, maybe it's time to support the adult film industry.

imgur / Via imgur.com

There's nothing stopping Newfoundland and Labrador from becoming the next San Fernando Valley. All you need is a little ingenuity and elbow grease.

"Working in adult video sets in easy and requires no education. We don't need schools anymore," wrote jonwoot.

Perfect.