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A Grumpy American Columnist Had A Terrible Time In Edmonton

A visit to Alberta's capital, as told by a man who hated it.

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This columnist and journalism professor in Nevada had a rather crummy time in Edmonton and he would like you to know all about it.

Sparks Tribune / Via dailysparkstribune.com

The Art Gallery of Alberta? Subpar, third-rate hogwash not worth the price of admission.

Stella Blu / Via Flickr: stellastella

To paraphrase Shakespeare, we searched all day to find it and when we finally found it discovered it not worth the search. No paintings. Just modern art featuring Canadian Jack Bush.

Horror.

The collection? Utter rubbish.

How can something be postmodern? In any case, so much modern art is trash. Artists today mostly elaborate badly on the modern art of painters Jackson Pollock and Andy Warhol and sculptor Alexander Calder.

And Heavens to Betsy, the traffic! The inadequate road signage!

Shameful. To those who have been there, Vancouver in British Columbia is a much better place to visit in western Canada.

Could a visit to the Telus World of Science redeem his trip? Obviously not, you cretins.

WinterforceMedia / Via commons.wikimedia.org

In the very first exhibit, dealing with climate change, the speaker was inaudible. Shameful. No gallery director should allow it.

There were children there, for crissakes. Painting. In a hallway.

To get to the bathroom we had to push instructors out of the way. Sure, kids should be introduced to art. But they are not more important than visiting adults. Then school buses pulled in, disgorging kids who rampaged through the exhibits — again annoying adult visitors.

(Then there was a bit about scripture and a slap fight, but let's just skip that.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In addition to art, children and fun, he also dislikes noise.

The noise of trucks constantly rumbling through Edmonton day and night is disturbing. But far worse is the constant roar of motorcycles. It is an Alberta tradition going back half a century but a repellent one.

Now, Edmonton, before you turn into machete-wielding savages, it should be noted that Jake here is an equal-opportunity hater.

While waiting in the Minneapolis airport for a flight, a large contingent of Americans debarked from a plane: fat men and women, obese men and women, slovenly men and women--a mind-boggling cross-section of ugly America.

Should've just gone to the mall.

The CW / Via weheartit.com

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