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Jul. 30, 2015

11 Signs The Conservatives Are About To Call An Election

WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

Ottawa is all abuzz with rumours that the 2015 election will be called as early as this Sunday.

But while everyone has been busy speculating their pants off, keen observers know the signs have been there all along.

1. Fact: tulips grow on Parliament Hill.

Adrian Wyld / AP

Tulips = two lips.

Fact: Governor General David Johnston has two lips.

Two lips that will call for an ELECTION.

David Johnston / Via Twitter: @ggdavidjohnston

2. Fact: Stephen Harper recently tweeted about the Pan Am Games.

Tonight marks the closing night of the @TO2015 #PanAmGames. Congrats to @TeamCanada & good luck to our athletes participating in #ParaPanAm.

Pan Am Games = P A G.

Backwards that's G A P, gap.

Harper will close the gap between now and an ELECTION.

3. Fact: The Conservative Party's favourite tagline for attacking Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau has been "just not ready."

CPC / Via youtu.be

Rearrange the letters in "just not ready" and you get "a trendy joust."

Know what else is a trendy joust? An ELECTION.

4. Fact: MP Tony Clement recently shared this cryptic clue on Instagram.

https://instagram.com/p/5qI6TKlmqA/?taken-by=tonyclementcpc
http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/federal-election-2015-stephen-harper-to-launch-campaign-as-early-as-sunday-1.3172602

There are five windows in the photo. "E" is the fifth letter in the alphabet.

The lighthouse is shaped like a lowercase "L."

El... ECTION.

5. Fact: They're not even being subtle about it.

Stephen Harper / Twitter // BuzzFeed Canada

6. Fact: MP Michelle Rempel recently tweeted this photo of Syl's Drive Inn. Innocent, right? Wrong.

A truly dangerous place. @CandiceBergenMP #manitoba #landmarks

Syl's is located on 4th Avenue in Carman, Manitoba.

Syl's banner has two stars.

Four and two = 42.

This will be Canada's 42nd ELECTION.

Michelle Rempel / Via Twitter: @MichelleRempel

7. Fact: Word is the election will be called on Sunday, August 2. 8/2. This is Psalm 82.

BibleGateway.com // BuzzFeed Canada / Via biblegateway.com

Which just speaks for itself.

8. Fact: In da Vinci's The Last Supper, several apostles are pointing at Jesus' nose.

BuzzFeed Canada

In a June photo with German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Harper's NOSE is pointed at three buttons on her jacket.

Tony Gentile / AP

Three = the number on months until the fixed October ELECTION date if it's called in August.

9. Fact: Harper has been planning this for years. In 2012, Harper awarded Justin Bieber the Diamond Jubilee Medal and just look at all those fucking triangles.

PMO Flickr // BuzzFeed Canada

That's nine triangles plus one very small triangle.

Nine and a half triangles = nine and a half years since the Conservatives came into power this year.

Nine and a half years until an ELECTION.

10. Fact: This very suspicious article appeared on the front page of the Ottawa Citizen. See those letters?

Emma Loop / BuzzFeed Canada

W I T R = WRIT. As in dropping the writ. For an ELECTION.

Emma Loop / BuzzFeed Canada

Nice try, Illuminati.

11. Fact: Our $20 bills are full of secrets.

Bank of Canada

You just need to take a closer look.

Bank of Canada
Bank of Canada

Checkmate, Tories.

Bank of Canada // BuzzFeed Canada

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