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Definitive Proof That The Reign Of The Pumpkin Has Begun

The Age of Man is over: LONG LIVE PUMPKIN.

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Just like every fall before...

And every fall that has yet to come.

All the while preying on our weaknesses.

Infiltrating our "balanced breakfasts."

Their appeal is too strong.

And their influence is too expansive.

Their ubiquity is...inescapable.

For the pumpkin will always find you.

And the pumpkin will show you mercy.

Offering its most delicious indulgences...

In exchange for total control of your very soul.

In this perennial struggle of man versus pumpkin...

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