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Definitive Proof That The Reign Of The Pumpkin Has Begun

The Age of Man is over: LONG LIVE PUMPKIN.

Lauren Paul
by Lauren Paul

BuzzFeed Staff

It's happening.

We knew it would.

Just like every fall before...

And every fall that has yet to come.

They live among us.

Adopting our culture.

Sharing in our rituals.

Feigning peaceful amity.

All the while preying on our weaknesses.

Infiltrating our "balanced breakfasts."

Targeting our children.

Resistance is futile.

Their appeal is too strong.

And their influence is too expansive.

Their ubiquity is...inescapable.

For the pumpkin will always find you.

Surrender to the gourd.

And the pumpkin will show you mercy.

Offering its most delicious indulgences...

In exchange for total control of your very soul.

In this perennial struggle of man versus pumpkin...

Pumpkin. Always. Wins.