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13 Books Every Sharp Slytherin Will Appreciate

Only books of great cunning just like you.

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1. Bossypants by Tina Fey

The Story: Capable, competent, and able to make even the most traumatic and awkward encounters endlessly funny, Tina Fey is the shrewd and quick-witted boss lady you would wish you worked for. Her memoir is empowering, hilarious, and proof that a little ambition goes a long way.

For Slytherins who... know the power of a good joke and an assertive attitude.

Find it on Amazon.

2. Grendel by John Gardner

The Story: In his version of Beowulf, one of modern literature's first and fiercest monsters lets you in on his existential angst as he struggles to understand the meaning of his supposedly worthless and destructive existence.

For Slytherins who... feel their cunning is often misunderstood.

Find it on Amazon.

3. An Abundance Of Katherines by John Green

The Story: A washed-up child prodigy sets out on a cross-country road trip to prove his own mathematical theorem that he hopes will predict the future of any relationship–and win him any girl.

For Slytherins who...
know that when it comes to love, some things will always be just beyond your clever, logical grasp.

Find it on Amazon.


4. Outliers: The Story Of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

The Story: Gladwell investigates just what it takes to win by examining how high achievers are different from the rest of the herd. This book will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that.

For Slytherins who...
are always looking for an edge on the competition.

Find it on Amazon.

5. It's Kind Of A Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

The Story: When Craig Gilner is accepted to Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School, he's pretty pumped to be on the fast track to general life success. But when he's newly surrounded by students just as, if not more gifted than he, Craig is suddenly not so sure of his talents, and he starts to fall apart.

For Slytherins who... have put way too much pressure on themselves to kick ass.

Find it on Amazon.

6. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

The Story: Condemned to life imprisonment without trial, Edmond Dantès is out for justice, and perhaps more importantly, revenge. Not only will his cunning and resourcefulness impress any Slytherin, but Dantès struggle is also a hard lesson in the cost of getting what you want.

For Slytherins who... have ever felt totally screwed over.

Find it on Amazon.

7. The Disreputable History Of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart

The Story: Frankie is a pretty precocious teen at an elite boarding school, and she's just found out she can't get into her boyfriend's super secret, dudes-only society. Stubborn and mischievous, Frankie sets out to teach the boys a thing or two about real leadership.

For Slytherins who... have been told they can't (and quickly proved they could).

Find it on Amazon.


8. The Magicians by Lev Grossman

The Story: Young, melancholy Quentin Coldwater is pretty ambivalent about his future, until he stumbles into the entrance exams of a hidden college of magic. From there he's thrown into a supernatural world not unlike that of his favorite fantasy novels; save for the sinister secrets his new school seems to be hiding.

For Slytherins who... wished Slytherins were the central characters of Harry Potter.

Find it on Amazon.

9. Les Liaisons Dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos

The Story: Remember Cruel Intentions? Get ready for the story that inspired it. The Vicomte and Marquise are clever, rich, and bored AF; so they decide to toy with the emotions of those around them. Things go belly up pretty fast, but the two cohorts are so damn witty you can't help but kind of root for them.

For Slytherins who... have ever maybe, sorta, accidentally manipulated someone.

Find it on Amazon.

10. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

The Story: A classic that's totally worth reading, it's about an ambitious woman who feels trapped by the expectations and not-so-unspoken rules of 19th century Russian society; and her affair with a handsome army officer isn't helping either.

For Slytherins who... are never quite satisfied.

Find it on Amazon.

11. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The Story: Two sly young magicians are trapped in a duel for the Le Cirque des Rêves, a traveling circus which only opens from sunset to sunrise. The stakes are so high that OF COURSE they fall madly in love and make everything worse.

For Slytherins who... know what it's like to have a ~worthy adversary~🙇🏽.

Find it on Amazon.


12. Watchmen by Alan Moore

The Story: This group of tortured superheroes isn't acting so super anymore, as they all seem to be dealing with the same drama us mortals do. And the final nail in their reputation is their vulnerability to a persistent assassin.

For Slytherins who... know that despite what folks say about Slytherins, you're a loyal friend with feelings and shit.

Find it on Amazon.

13. Zelda by Nancy Milford

The Story: Zelda Sayre was a creative beauty who basically served as Queen of the Jazz Age alongside her husband and King, F. Scott Fitzgerald. The two had a complicated marriage, to say the least, and this book offers Zelda's passionate perspective on their talents and relationship.

For Slytherins who... struggle to know when not to compete, but know that sometimes, it's for the best.

Find it on Amazon.