Skip To Content
    This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!

    Epcot Centre's Twitter Is The Funniest Thing You'll Read All Day

    Yes, this is a parody account. But whoever is behind it deserves to be Epcot's social media manager ASAP.

    Public Health is their #1 priority

    Please don't spit on the ground here at Epcot because someone could step in it & soon there will be germs all over the place.

    The seats on the monorail are for people, not garbage.

    They give great relationship advice

    Valentine's Day is a month away. Epcot is as good a place as any to make romantic overtures toward someone special.

    They answer fan questions

    Q. Have any dignitaries visited Epcot? - Brock (Weirton, WV) --- A. Jimmy Carter, Andre the Giant, Diane Sawyer and a few others.

    Q. Is it true there are secret tunnels beneath Epcot? - Fawn (Uranium City, Saskatchewan) --- A. Do you know what a secret is, Fawn?

    Q. What steps have you taken to reduce Epcot's carbon footprint? - Brent (Tucumcari, NM) --- A. We switched to those weird light bulbs.

    Q. I lost my blood pressure pills at Epcot & park employees found them for me. Thank you! - Marta (Rifle, CO) - A. That's not a question.

    Q. How much does it cost to park at Epcot for the day? - Denny (Strawberry Point, IA) --- A. $14. Hope you can scrape it together, Denny.

    They enforce the rules

    If you want to feed a bag of Ruffles to some seagulls, please do it on your own property, not ours. Thank you.

    We close at 9:30 on weeknights. 9:30 means 9:30. It doesn't mean 9:35 or 9:50.

    Please don't wear jeans with holes in them at Epcot. This is a family theme park, not some kind of acid rock concert.

    We have lots of rules at Epcot because we care about safety. If you don't like our rules you can just stay home as far as we're concerned.

    You can't bring your dog into Epcot Centre unless you can prove you are blind.

    They do trivia - with awesome prizes!

    The first person to answer today's #Epcot trivia question correctly will win a 2014 Chevy Malibu!

    Here is today's #Epcot trivia question. Who was the President of the United States when Epcot opened in 1982?

    Unfortunately, no one answered today's #Epcot trivia question correctly. The Chevy Malibu will be sold at auction.

    They know what the holidays are all about

    We like to think the brave man and women who founded the Plymouth Colony in 1620 would have loved Epcot.

    Just as the Jews rededicated the Second Temple in the 2nd century BC, Epcot is rededicating itself to terrific customer service! #Hanukkah

    There is no better place to celebrate a birthday, an anniversary, or early release from incarceration than Epcot.

    Our ass't. general manager fractured his shin kiteboarding, so now I have to work all weekend. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping.

    They share big news about the park

    Exciting news! We might be opening an Epcot Centre in Vietnam if they ever get their act together over there.

    Epcot will close at 1:00pm next Thursday because our general manager, Brian, has to have oral surgery.

    Despite rumors to the contrary, @Susan_Lucci has NOT officially agreed to host our New Year's Eve concert.

    We are delighted to unveil our newest attraction here at Epcot.

    Follow @EpcotCentre for more hilarious tweets. For your daily dose of mundane observations and droning sports commentary that is likely irrelevant, follow the guy who introduced these amazing tweets to me, @dammit_ben.