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Epcot Centre's Twitter Is The Funniest Thing You'll Read All Day

Yes, this is a parody account. But whoever is behind it deserves to be Epcot's social media manager ASAP.

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Public Health is their #1 priority

Please don't spit on the ground here at Epcot because someone could step in it & soon there will be germs all over the place.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Please don't spit on the ground here at Epcot because someone could step in it & soon there will be germs all over the place.

11:05 AM - 29 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

The seats on the monorail are for people, not garbage.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

The seats on the monorail are for people, not garbage.

03:11 PM - 7 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

They give great relationship advice

Valentine's Day is a month away. Epcot is as good a place as any to make romantic overtures toward someone special.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Valentine's Day is a month away. Epcot is as good a place as any to make romantic overtures toward someone special.

08:40 PM - 14 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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They answer fan questions

Q. Have any dignitaries visited Epcot? - Brock (Weirton, WV) --- A. Jimmy Carter, Andre the Giant, Diane Sawyer and a few others.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Q. Have any dignitaries visited Epcot? - Brock (Weirton, WV) --- A. Jimmy Carter, Andre the Giant, Diane Sawyer and a few others.

07:32 PM - 10 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Q. Is it true there are secret tunnels beneath Epcot? - Fawn (Uranium City, Saskatchewan) --- A. Do you know what a secret is, Fawn?

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Q. Is it true there are secret tunnels beneath Epcot? - Fawn (Uranium City, Saskatchewan) --- A. Do you know what a secret is, Fawn?

07:35 PM - 24 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Q. What steps have you taken to reduce Epcot's carbon footprint? - Brent (Tucumcari, NM) --- A. We switched to those weird light bulbs.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Q. What steps have you taken to reduce Epcot's carbon footprint? - Brent (Tucumcari, NM) --- A. We switched to those weird light bulbs.

08:19 PM - 3 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Q. I lost my blood pressure pills at Epcot & park employees found them for me. Thank you! - Marta (Rifle, CO) - A. That's not a question.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Q. I lost my blood pressure pills at Epcot & park employees found them for me. Thank you! - Marta (Rifle, CO) - A. That's not a question.

08:00 PM - 18 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Q. How much does it cost to park at Epcot for the day? - Denny (Strawberry Point, IA) --- A. $14. Hope you can scrape it together, Denny.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Q. How much does it cost to park at Epcot for the day? - Denny (Strawberry Point, IA) --- A. $14. Hope you can scrape it together, Denny.

07:55 PM - 18 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

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They enforce the rules

If you want to feed a bag of Ruffles to some seagulls, please do it on your own property, not ours. Thank you.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

If you want to feed a bag of Ruffles to some seagulls, please do it on your own property, not ours. Thank you.

05:37 PM - 25 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

We close at 9:30 on weeknights. 9:30 means 9:30. It doesn't mean 9:35 or 9:50.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

We close at 9:30 on weeknights. 9:30 means 9:30. It doesn't mean 9:35 or 9:50.

12:09 AM - 13 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Please don't wear jeans with holes in them at Epcot. This is a family theme park, not some kind of acid rock concert.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Please don't wear jeans with holes in them at Epcot. This is a family theme park, not some kind of acid rock concert.

11:54 AM - 1 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

We have lots of rules at Epcot because we care about safety. If you don't like our rules you can just stay home as far as we're concerned.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

We have lots of rules at Epcot because we care about safety. If you don't like our rules you can just stay home as far as we're concerned.

03:19 AM - 10 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

You can't bring your dog into Epcot Centre unless you can prove you are blind.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

You can't bring your dog into Epcot Centre unless you can prove you are blind.

06:46 PM - 6 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

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They do trivia - with awesome prizes!

The first person to answer today's #Epcot trivia question correctly will win a 2014 Chevy Malibu!

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

The first person to answer today's #Epcot trivia question correctly will win a 2014 Chevy Malibu!

03:05 PM - 29 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Here is today's #Epcot trivia question. Who was the President of the United States when Epcot opened in 1982?

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Here is today's #Epcot trivia question. Who was the President of the United States when Epcot opened in 1982?

03:10 PM - 29 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Unfortunately, no one answered today's #Epcot trivia question correctly. The Chevy Malibu will be sold at auction.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Unfortunately, no one answered today's #Epcot trivia question correctly. The Chevy Malibu will be sold at auction.

03:27 PM - 29 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

They know what the holidays are all about

We like to think the brave man and women who founded the Plymouth Colony in 1620 would have loved Epcot.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

We like to think the brave man and women who founded the Plymouth Colony in 1620 would have loved Epcot.

06:10 PM - 27 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Just as the Jews rededicated the Second Temple in the 2nd century BC, Epcot is rededicating itself to terrific customer service! #Hanukkah

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Just as the Jews rededicated the Second Temple in the 2nd century BC, Epcot is rededicating itself to terrific customer service! #Hanukkah

02:23 PM - 27 Nov 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

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There is no better place to celebrate a birthday, an anniversary, or early release from incarceration than Epcot.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

There is no better place to celebrate a birthday, an anniversary, or early release from incarceration than Epcot.

05:20 PM - 11 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Our ass't. general manager fractured his shin kiteboarding, so now I have to work all weekend. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Our ass't. general manager fractured his shin kiteboarding, so now I have to work all weekend. I haven't even started my Christmas shopping.

03:32 PM - 21 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

They share big news about the park

Exciting news! We might be opening an Epcot Centre in Vietnam if they ever get their act together over there.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Exciting news! We might be opening an Epcot Centre in Vietnam if they ever get their act together over there.

06:21 PM - 6 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Epcot will close at 1:00pm next Thursday because our general manager, Brian, has to have oral surgery.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Epcot will close at 1:00pm next Thursday because our general manager, Brian, has to have oral surgery.

03:29 AM - 10 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Despite rumors to the contrary, @Susan_Lucci has NOT officially agreed to host our New Year's Eve concert.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

Despite rumors to the contrary, @Susan_Lucci has NOT officially agreed to host our New Year's Eve concert.

07:36 PM - 15 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

We are delighted to unveil our newest attraction here at Epcot.

Epcot Centre@EpcotCentre

We are delighted to unveil our newest attraction here at Epcot.

08:21 PM - 25 Jan 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

Follow @EpcotCentre for more hilarious tweets. For your daily dose of mundane observations and droning sports commentary that is likely irrelevant, follow the guy who introduced these amazing tweets to me, @dammit_ben.

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