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12 Best-Selling Book Titles

A list of potential titles for the books I tell myself I'll write about my life including memoirs, self-help reads and even a fantasy fiction series.

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1. I Cut My Own Bangs, and other tales of regret

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"A little snip here and there won't hurt," I think to myself, mere seconds before chopping off an unacceptable amount of my bangs. I immediately thought, "I Cut My Own Bangs and I Regret It," could actually be the title of my own personal memoir (based on how frequently this happens).

I started thinking about other titles for memoirs, self help books and even a fantasy fiction series that could accurately sum up life, as I know it. The result is a (hopefully) hilarious, admittedly pathetic, yet truthful portrayal. Please, do enjoy!

2. Mastering Multitasking: The Art of Watching TV & Reading at the Same Time

It's hard to be socially relevant these days, guys. No more choosing between doing one thing or the other. With the skill of multitasking on your side, you'll finally be able to do both. Yes, it really is time to watch Breaking Bad now because we're all tired of potential spoiler alert situations around you.

3. How to be a Permanent Resident of Singleville: Stories of my (non-existent) Love Life

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I could go into detail, but I'll just say this: men are the reason there are cat lady's in this world (myself included).

4. Stop Saving: Why a Sad Bank Account Equals a Happy Life

I think we all know there's not much to say here. I've seen plenty of unhappy, rich people to know I'm much better off. Money isn't having fun when it's sitting in your bank account and neither are you!

That being said...be as frugal as possible, whenever possible.

5. Regulating the Speed of my Windshield Wipers, and other small unimportant skills I haven't yet mastered

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Other topics of this book might include folding a fitted sheet, cutting a pineapple and tying a balloon. I'm assuming these are things everyone struggles with...right?

6. If I Fall Asleep on the Couch...Don't Wake Me

You know that saying, 'never wake a sleeping baby'? Well, guess what...never wake a sleeping Lauren. I can say without a hint of doubt that my mom will personally vouch for the terror that ensues when you attempt to do so. Also, my college roommates would probably agree.

7. I Talk to my Cat, and other cat lady confessions

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In the groundbreaking sequel to "How to be a Permanent Resident of Singleville...", these cat lady confessions are sure to resonate with those who have turned to cats (or any animals, for that matter) as the answer to their relationship problems. You are not alone, my friends.

8. The Best Things in Life ARE Free...and I'm not talking about stealing: Living on a Budget

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When I see a spot for a coupon code at an online checkout, you better know I'm using every resource I have to find one. If you don't do this, then this book is definitely for you. If you do already do this, please buy this book anyway so I can stop couponing.

9. Becoming Queen of Organization: The Story of my Rise to Power

Roy G. Biv is my boy. I'm 99.9% sure I came out of the womb chanting his name and since then everything in my life has been organized as such. Also, alphabetizing...am I right guys?

10. Making Time for Exercise in Your Daily Life, Fantasy Fiction Series

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When there aren't enough hours in my days, exercise is the first obligation to get the boot. And so, the saga continues hence the fantasy fiction series (Volume IX hits stores soon).

11. Toning It Down: The Lifelong Struggle to Censor Myself

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If my (non-existent) filter could have its own filter, that would be ideal. I have to yell at my brain like it's a toddler experiencing the terrible two's on too many occasions.

12. Unedited: A Wannabe Writer's Thoughts, Read Aloud

There is some serious bestselling material going on in my head at all times. Opinions, mostly but in my opinion they're good opinions. Did I mention I'm opinionated? I think I'm starting to question the way opinions is spelled now.

A Letter to My (Future) Editor:

These titles are irresistible, wouldn't you agree? Don't wait too long, The New York Times will come knocking on my door soon enough. Or, as they say in retail: "Better act quick...deals like this won't last!"

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