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19 Deeply Personal Things Selena Gomez Shared In Her New Documentary "My Mind And Me"

In the doc, Selena and her loved ones take us through the time before, during, and after the 2018 "nervous breakdown" which led to her bipolar disorder diagnosis.

Content warning: This article mentions depression and suicide ideation.

Selena Gomez's new documentary, Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me, premiered last week on Apple TV+. The film takes us through a six-year span in her career, where she deals with immense fame and how it negatively affected her mental health, which ultimately leads to her bipolar disorder diagnosis.

documentary poster

Here are 19 things she revealed in the doc:

1. At the beginning of the doc, which starts in 2016, Selena shares that John Janik, CEO and Chairman of Interscope Records, had called her earlier that day to talk about a song with her then-boyfriend Justin Bieber. She speaks about how hard it is being overshadowed by her relationship and while in tears she says, “When am I just gonna be good enough by myself?”

"when am i gonna be good enough by myself? not needing anyone to be associated with"

2. Throughout the doc, she also speaks about her fear of coming off as too "young," and that she doesn't want her Disney past to define her as an adult.

"i would want nothing more than to be my past, it keeps coming back"

3. Before going onstage, Selena would have to check her blood pressure because if it was too high she could have a stroke, due to her lupus.

selena saying that if her blood pressure is anywhere from 150–145 its high and she could have a stroke

4. Theresa Mingus, Selena's close friend and former assistant, shared that during the Revival tour Selena approached her saying “I don’t want to be alive right now," which led to the cancellation of her remaining shows.

theresa saying that it was very scary

5. In 2018, Selena experienced a "psychotic break" and was “despondent and emotional” due to a low white blood cell count from complications of her lupus. Her close friend Raquelle Stevens explained that even Selena couldn't quite explain what was going on.

raquel during the interview saying that selena couldn't explain what she was going through

6. Selena's mom revealed that she only found out about the "nervous breakdown" by a call from TMZ.

selena's mom in the doc being interviewed

7. Selena was admitted to a mental health hospital, and during her time there, her friends and family shared that Selena was almost unrecognizable.

selena, raquel, and selena's mom in the documentary

8. Selena shared that she's learned more and more about her bipolar diagnosis because she was afraid of losing herself and not being able to "come back."

"what if it happened again? what if the next time i didnt come back"

9. During a trip back to her middle school, Selena mentions having crushes on boys who never liked her back. Her cousin also mentions that Selena was an "outcast" and only had a few friends.

10. When she was younger, Selena had a huge crush on Cole Sprouse and would write his name all over her walls.

walls with his name written

11. Selena remembers her mental health got "worse" after her fame grew and she started touring. She also said she felt "vain" and has now tried to prioritize "human connection" because it makes her happy.

paparrazi asking about justin and asking if she's depressed

12. Ultimately, it was Selena's decision to be honest about her bipolar diagnosis. Her team was worried that the press would warp the narrative.

selena deciding that she was gonna say she's bipolar with her team around her

13. After speaking about her diagnosis at the McLean Psychiatric Hospital Annual Dinner, Selena went home and texted Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter saying, "I think I'm ready to just say I'm sad." They went on to write "Lose You To Love Me" in 45 minutes.

her team in the studio and then making the music video

14. One of Selena's biggest goals in life is to create a bill where it is required to have therapy classes in American schools.

selena at a dinner saying that feelings get harder to navigate

15. In early 2020, Selena also planned to work with We Charity on creating a mental health curriculum. Unfortunately, the plan fell through when the news came to light that the charity had previously paid Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to attend events.

selena on the phone, devastated by the news

16. In 2020, she created the Rare Impact Fund and raised $100 million to provide free mental health resources for young people. And in 2022, the Rare Impact Fund hosted a Youth Action Forum in coordination with the White House where she was able to meet with President Biden about a mental health curriculum in schools.

jill biden speaking at the event

17. She shared that she hates doing press and became frustrated after a reporter didn't listen to anything she said. She went on to explain that the moment triggered her because it made her "feel like Disney" after spending "years of [her] life to not be that."

selena during the interview and then frustrated in the green room afterwards

18. During the pandemic, Selena's lupus symptoms got worse after she hadn't felt the same kind of pain in years. After testing, her doctor diagnosed her with a rheumatoid factor, so her pain was being caused by a lupus myositis rheumatoid overlap.

"in the morning i wake up and immediately start crying because it hurts"

19. Finally, she shared that her depression stems from her fame and life as a child star. She also said that she wishes she wasn't famous, but ultimately she hopes she can use her position "for good."

selena saying she wants to move forward

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.