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    22 Little Ways You Know You Went To St Andrews

    MAs, MLitts, PhDs. Sinners one and all. Happy 600th, St Andrews.

    1. You didn't go to Cambridge or Oxford.

    You don't regret it, whether you had a choice or not.

    2. You know what a mouthful of shaving foam tastes like.

    And you don't automatically assume I'm being dirty.

    3. You have a keen radar for uneven cobblestones.

    Fancy that.

    4. You've slept with/made out with your brother/sister/father/mother. You may even be married to them IRL.

    What could be more natural!

    5. You've woken up to this.

    Alternating, of course, with the sound of bagpipes. Wakey wakey!

    6. The thought of walking on this:

    Still makes you this:

    It's not poooosssiblllle.

    7. You are privy to the knowledge of where this dance floor really is.

    And what the DJ wears who stands behind it.

    8. You may be predisposed to commemorate things by purposefully getting wet and cold.

    Who's for May Dip? A pier jump? Post-exam soaking? As long as the water is below 0 degrees and I drank a bottle of whisk(e)y, I'm in!

    9. Your best dance moves are left over from the bop.

    Which you loved, whether you admit(ted) it or not.

    10. Your friends list is global.

    You probably know at least 3 people from Cyprus.

    11. While other adults feel stressed by overcommitment, your schedule has become a breeze since leaving the Bubble.


    12. Eating this doesn't faze you.

    Not a bit.

    13. You miss this being the social highlight of one season:

    Buying those tickets early and siiiiinging along with the entire Gilbert & Sullivan society optional.

    14. And this being the highlight of the other:

    Don't walk against Hansel or Kate Middleton. You'll never look as good in mesh.

    15. You're still bosom buddies with several royals/nobles/children of heads of state/yawn.

    It is revealed over time that some friends have held out on you for years rather than face your mockery of their elite pedigree. (EVA).

    16. You're in the habit of constantly looking over your shoulder for your crush or your nemesis, no matter how big your current city or town.

    The joys of having lived life on three streets. I mean, four.

    17. You are conditioned to believe there are two primary seasons:

    ...And Winter is HERE.

    Oh, and rain.

    East Fife and Vietnam have more in common than we thought.

    18. You learned the most about human nature not from your world-class humanities professors...

    ...But from being in Tesco between the hours of 16:00 and 20:00.

    No. No. No.

    19. You remind yourself you had an 80% chance of leaving school with this:

    As well as this:

    The degree, not fellow alum Sir Connery.

    20. To this day, you don't take air in libraries for granted.

    No more of that youthful naïveté for you! Going to go grab some reads? Better bring along your oxygen tank just in case.

    21. You relate strongly to this novel about an elite university in Scotland by fellow alum Lauren Mangiaforte, a wonderful self-promoter in the history of self-promoting St Andreans.

    And if you haven't bought/read it yet, you're behind the times. Get it!

    22. No matter where you are in life, you know if it was good enough for them...

    ...It was good enough for you.

    Go ahead. Be smug. You went to St Andrews.