21 Things St Andrews Freshers Are Doing That You Are Not

Aren't you happy you completed that St Andrews degree on time? You're reading this at your cubicle; they are partying at the Lizard. They are breaking into the castle; you are breaking into your savings account to fund flights into Edinburgh. Where is my time machine?

1. Arriving in Scotland's prettiest town

...As much as you love New York and London, NOT THE SAME K

2. Going to the bop

...You are drinking an overpriced cocktail with people in suits.

3. Meeting their hot academic sibling for the first time

...You are swiping left or right on Tinder.

4. Becoming friends with people from all over the world

...You are maintaining an ungodly Skype schedule to keep up with yours.

5. Freaking out about work and going to drink instead

...You're just doing both, one after the other. There is no "instead."

6. Getting exercise by doing this exact EXACT thing.

...You are struggling at your smelly indoor gym

7. Having the first in a long line of weekends that LOOK LIKE THIS FOR CHRISSAKES

...Okay, if you did St Andrews right your weekends probably still look like this

8. Fantasizing about their first ball

...When was the last time you got to break out your gown/kilt/tux?

9. That, maybe.

...

10. Discovering the joys of Empire at 3am

...You are eating something sensible for dinner at 8.

11. Realizing how epically gorgeous West Sands is

...How many sunsets over the North Sea do you see these days?

12. (Also, East Sands)

13. (And Castle Sands.)

14. Becoming enraptured with their course of study.

...For you, the novelty ended after one year in a real job in your field.

15. Plotting their first weekend roadtrip to the Highlands or Edinburgh

...Do you even have friends to roadtrip with anymore?

16. Pretty much living this novel about a university in Scotland.

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...You're reading it.

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17. Tasting their first Jannettas.

...Where's the Jannettas-flavored Ben and Jerry's?

18. Making out in the rain (is there another way to make out in Scotland?)

...It might be dry where you are, but where are you seriously going to find a quaint enough street/ruin/castle to serve as your convenient romantic backdrop?

19. Looking fabulous in their yah-wear

...How's that boring suit feeling just now?

20. This, at the Old Course Hotel.

...Nothing's quite the same as that view.

21. Taking a casual hill walk through the gorgeous countryside.

...Where is your nearest set of magnificent Scottish countryside? St Andrews, you say?

22. Just remember, while they're taking it for granted:

...You're older and wiser than them.