15 Bleak Tales Of Sexual Harassment In Clubs
Dancing is not a sexual proposition, actually.
London's Southwark Council has announced that it will take major steps to crack down on harassment of women in the borough.
Its Women's Safety Charter has seen the council work with licensed bars, clubs, and restaurants on a set of commitments to give women the confidence to report incidents to venue managers.
These anecdotes from the harassed women of BuzzFeed prove just how vital it is that other authorities act quickly to take similar steps...
Me and my BFF at uni were dancing in a club when a guy came up behind us and pushed our heads together to try and make us kiss. I had a massive rant at him about how that was not only invading our personal space and horrible, but that it was guys like him that meant I could never make out with my ex-girlfriend in a straight club without experiencing some kind of perviness.
Ellie Woodward got abuse when she needed help.
Hannah Jewell shamed a guy to his friends when he grabbed her bum.
Once a guy grabbed my butt as he walked by, so I grabbed his hand and shook it and said 'OH HELLO NICE TO MEET YOU DO YOU NORMALLY LEARN PEOPLE'S NAMES BEFORE YOU GRAB THEIR ASSES?' He was all, 'staahhhpp', then his friends noticed what was happening and I told them what he did. They were super embarrassed and then the guy actually ran away, down the street.
Some guy was chirpsing on me in a pub recently and I calmly said, 'What makes you think you have the right to talk to me like that, seriously, tell me, I'm curious.' He was really drunk and his face just contorted in this short-circuit, cannot compute kind of way, and he made a weird illegible wailing sound before his mates dragged him away.
Gaby Dunn was rescued from groping with grabbing.
Oh man, I was at a gay club and a guy came up behind me and groped me and I was only saved by another guy grabbing my arm and pulling me up into the balcony.
I was dancing in a Brooklyn bar (during a HURRICANE SANDY FUNDRAISER) when a guy tried to join me. I sidled away and before long he was by me again. When I went to move again, he grabbed my wrist, pulled me toward him, and asked, 'You're trying to tease me, aren't you?' I pulled my arm free, mumbled something, and left soon after because I was upset I didn't react more angrily.
Alexis Nedd was told a man "owned" her.
I was working as a nightlife writer covering an event at a club when I was invited to sit at a table by bunch of typical finance bros as well as as a few women. I didn't drink anything from their bottles, but when I wanted to get up and leave (I had another event to attend), one of the men at the table grabbed my waist and pulled me back onto his lap. Like a full-on back tackle. He told me that he 'owned me' and that I had to stay at their table for the night.
Krystie Yandoli kept saying no but still got grabbed.
It's hard to pick *one* story because this basically happens every weekend, but over the summer this guy asked me to dance and I said no, then he smiled and said 'come on' and I said no again, pushing him away. Then he grabbed me really hard and pulled me into him and started touching me/dancing on me. I had to shove him off me and ended up leaving the bar/going home.
I went to a club in Fire Island with friends a few summers ago and a dude kept hitting on my friend to an unnerving degree. Not just 'can I buy you a drink' but 'can I go out with you forever let's make a family girl you are so special 2 me'.She lied and told him she was dating someone and he said that didn't matter, then she told him she was a lesbian and I think he literally thought she meant "Lebanese" or did not know what a lesbian was, because he kept at it. He later became involved in a club-wide fist-fight, got kicked out of the club, and followed us home. He tried to tell us he had nowhere to stay and needed to sleep at our place, even if just on the porch, and which point I had to step in and tell him to please just go and die.
My friend and I were stalked around a club. The guy wasn't physical at first, but things quickly escalated. After five minutes of my friend and I actually pushing him away, some bros stepped in. But they weren't any better and told us that since they had 'practically saved your asses from being raped' that we owed it to them to at least hang out for the rest of the night. We immediately left the club.
Candace Lowry was dancing, not inviting grinding.
I was dancing with my two girl friends and a group of older guys came over and wanted to dance with us. When I said no they started grabbing my arms and pulling me towards them and then started walking towards me to just grind on me without consent. I hated it and left immediately.
I went to Vegas for New Year's Eve once and I was talking to my friends (all of us single), and at only 12:01am, some drunk dude who we were next to and sort of casually chatting with just shoved his tongue down my throat mid-convo. I was totally caught off-guard and pushed away, and then he told me I was a terrible kisser. I was like, no fucking shit, jackass, I wasn't trying to kiss you back.
Jenna Guillaume was slut-shamed by her male friends when she was 15.
When I was 15 I was at an outdoor dance party with my best friend on New Year's Eve. We were happily dancing, as you do at 15, when this guy walked past and as he did he reached out and trailed his hand from my boob down my body to my butt. And then kept walking. It's not the worst thing that could happen, but it was the first time I was made to feel like other people thought they had a right to my body and I felt sick. The next day I told a couple of guy friends about it and they asked what I was wearing, and when I admitted I had on a tee that said 'eat me' they laughed and said 'well what did you expect?' I guess I was 15 and naive enough to expect no one to touch me without my permission.
My friends and I were at a club on the Canal St. Martin in Paris, having a great time. Then, of course, a man had to spoil the fun.This man-child came up to our closed circle and started grinding up against different girls, each of whom rebuffed him immediately or stood there grimacing. When I told him, 'Back off, we aren't interested' (in French), he stepped back, looked at me, and said, 'Oooh, La CHINOISE.' (The Chinese.) For the record: I'm mixed-race, mostly Filipino/Swedish/Russian. I'm not Chinese. But time and again, men in France would cat-call/harass/attempt to flirt with me by calling me 'La Chinoise'.He proceeded to speak at me in what he must have assumed was a totally hilarious imitation of Chinese.I told him to back off, again. He didn't stop until the third time, when I included some delightful French expletives. Later in the night, he cut the entire bathroom queue, because assholes tend to be assholes all around. My friend shouted from the back of the line, 'That guy called my friend "La Chinoise!"' The 30 people waiting in line for the loo booed, and the guy had to shit while everyone outside the stall booed him out of the club.It was awesome.
Kristin Harris was grabbed by several men, from face to bum, in just three minutes.
At a club in London I was just walking around the venue and within a three-minute time frame one guy had grabbed my butt, another had grabbed and put his arm around my waist, and another came up to me and literally grabbed my face with his hands and pulled me toward him – all while I was just walking through the venue. It was terrifying and felt like a complete violation of my space/body.