back to top

Are You The Biggest Grandma In Your Friendship Group?

"Gettus a whisky and ginger, love."

Posted on
Dan Talson / Getty Images
  1. Which old-before-your-time acts do you commit?

    Check
    You ask everyone if they've had a wee before heading out.
    Check
    You always have tissues in your bag.
    Check
    You offer around said tissues before anyone goes to the toilet in the pub "just in case".
    Check
    Knitting is your jam.
    Check
    As is making jam.
    Check
    The only sweets you eat are extra strong mints.
    Check
    Except maybe a toffee for a treat.
    Check
    Or a Quality Street at Christmas.
    Check
    10.30pm is your idea of a late night.
    Check
    You'd rather have your mates around for an afternoon brew and a natter than a takeaway and booze.
    Check
    You can't handle drinking tea or coffee too late in the afternoon.
    Check
    But you do love a good cup of tea, mind.
    Check
    You often turn up to parties with baked goods.
    Check
    Not that kind of baked goods.
    Check
    You always offer to make something when it comes to group gifts.
    Check
    You've never heard of any of the music playing in the pub.
    Check
    Your standard response to a clubbing invitation: "it doesn't start until WHAT time?!".
    Check
    You're always asking your friends to turn the music down.
    Check
    You're not sure you've bought an album recorded this century.
    Check
    You're the first to suggest renting a cottage somewhere quiet when group trips are planned.
    Check
    You're always the last of your group to download the latest chat app.
    Check
    And don't get you started on social media.
    Check
    You remember when everybody just rang each other.
    Check
    When your BFF buys '90s shoes, you're all "I remember those the first time!"
    Check
    You were born around 1992.
    Check
    Vinyl > Mp3.
    Check
    You remember only having tapes or CDs.
    Check
    Someone in your group orders a craft beer and you warn them sternly about the 6.5% ABV.
    Check
    You've never even wanted alcopops.
    Check
    But you remember Hooch.
    Check
    You ALWAYS encourage your friends to take a coat on a night out.
    Check
    And wear tights.
    Check
    You rarely go out without a scarf or gloves.
    Check
    A scarf AND gloves.
    Check
    You're the first to offer around anti-bacterial hand gel at festivals.
    Check
    Or anywhere you and your friends use a public toilet.
    Check
    Which you encourage them all to use, "since you're passing".
    Check
    Radio 4 > Radio 1.
    Check
    You plan all your nights out around the last train or bus.
    Check
    Your drink is a half an ale.
    Check
    Or a whiskey and ginger for special occasions.
    Check
    You'd rather get up and bake at weekends that stay in bed all morning.
    Check
    Forget "Take Me Out", you'd rather watch "Broadchurch".
    Check
    Or "Silent Witness".
    Check
    "Wolf Hall" alone is worth your TV license fee.
    Check
    Your friends who dodge license fees trouble you deeply.
Take quizzes and chill with the BuzzFeed app.