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This Is What It's Like To Try And Quit Facebook

Unfollow away, my friends.

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It’s 2AM and you’re deep down a mindless Facebook hole reading about a friend of a friend from school’s dead dog.

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Your notifications tab is alive with distant family members inviting you to play Candy Crush Saga.

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Pictures of acquaintances’ seemingly well-behaved kids and wooden floors are making you question your life choices.

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It’s time to quit Facebook.

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“But how will I keep up with 1000 of my closest distant long-lost friends?”, you cry.

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“What if nobody invites me to parties? How will I use Tinder?!”.

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"HOW WILL I LOG-IN TO NETFLIX?"

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But wait, you don’t need to go ice-cold-turkey and delete your profile, there’s another way…

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Give your friends list a serious cull.

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Met them once at a party, know their brother, once ended up tagged in a mutual friend's status with them? Get rid.

Unfollow all the people on your timeline who aren't family or day-to-day IRL friends.

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They'll be none the wiser that you've unfollowed them, you'll be none the wiser as to what dessert they had on #datenight

Hey, why not unfollow some of them too if their posts don’t bring you good vibes.

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So long, boasters.

Turn off Facebook chat.

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Nobody needs to be accosted with direct conversation while they're quietly catching up. That's why you quit MSN Messenger a decade ago.

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Delete the bookmark from your toolbar so you’re not tempted to get click-happy when you’re reading other websites.

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Delete the app from your phone.

Do you need to see the selfies your sister was tagged in from last night while you're waiting for the bus? DO YOU?!
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Do you need to see the selfies your sister was tagged in from last night while you're waiting for the bus? DO YOU?!

Your feed becomes a quick, need-to-know summary of people you actually like and things you're really interested in.

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With such a well-edited timeline, it feels so easy to log on, check your notifications, and log right off again.

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Maybe you'll even read a book instead.

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Or go outside!

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You kind of forget about all of those friends of friends of friends anyway.

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And the next time you wonder what your ex from years ago is up to right now, you’ll simply wonder because they won’t be right there, aging in your timeline.

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Sure, you could actually search them, but you don’t even feel like it now you’re out of the Facebook vortex.

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YOU’RE FREE!

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Hey, maybe you’re even ready to quit properly and delete your profile now.

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Maybe.