31 Reasons To Avoid South London
South of the river, nice? Pull the other one.
Heading south over the River Thames is a dull and arduous experience.
All of London's best architecture is north of the river, where it belongs.
Seriously, all the buildings on the south side are just grey and suburban.
The views are shite too.
Come on, how are you going to see a good skyline from all the way over there?
Sure, there are loads of parks, but they're all just ratty old commons and greens.
Why would you bother with anywhere other than Hyde Park if you want nice green space in London?
It's all just crappy takeaways down there anyway, isn't it?
You certainly wouldn't want to eat anything from a chicken shop in south London.
You'll probably end up having to plump for some old sandwich from Londis.
The pubs are all like something off Only Fools and Horses.
Nope, absolutely nowhere to get a good pint in south London.
Especially in the summer.
The only animals you'll find are stupid foxes.
Suppose you might see a few pigeons or something.
It's so bleak and depressing in the urban sprawl of south London.
Nothing of note ever happens there.
It's something of a dead zone when it comes to sport.
And as for music, pfft, you'll be lucky.
There's never anything interesting going on.
If you want to see art then you'd better look elsewhere.
You certainly won't see it in the street.
The streets are just a bit dull and lifeless, really.
Forget finding a museum that has anything worth seeing.
The museums in south London are just a bit plain and boring anyway.
They're little more than old, grey piles of bricks.
You're better off just staying indoors if you ever have to go to south London.
Go on, stay north of the river, where everything's much nicer.
Absolutely nothing to see down south.
Definitely not the best bit of London at all.
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