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29 Pre-Internet Woes Under-30s Don't Get

My analogue struggle.

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1. You had to to use the house phone in front of your parents to speak to your mates.

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And even if you were lucky enough to have more than one phone, there was always the risk one of your family would pick up the other line for a sneaky listen.

2. The only way to have a private conversation was to use a phone box.

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"1471 and ring me back, yeah?"

3. You actually had to remember everyone's phone number.

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And chances are you're still using up vital brain space still knowing the numbers of all your friends circa 1995.

4. Your memory was already pretty fried trying to remember the bus and train timetables too.

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5. Your parents held a special wrath for when you spent all your money in town and reversed the charges to call for a lift home.

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6. You'd be in constant turmoil over whether to wait in for your mates to phone you and invite you out, or go out away from the phone but hope to bump into them anyway.

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7. There was always a risk your friend would be waylaid before meeting you, but wouldn't be able to let you know once you were out already.

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Being accidentally stood up was a real risk pre-mobile.

8. If you did have a mobile, you could only text one person at a time, and only had 50 free texts a month.

Group chatting a commentary of Take Me Out with 10 of your mates was but a far-flung dream.
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Group chatting a commentary of Take Me Out with 10 of your mates was but a far-flung dream.

9. When you took photos, you had to wait to finish the film and for them to be sent off and developed before you could see them.

AKA forever.
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AKA forever.

10. And then half of them would turn out to be shit.

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11. You were screwed if you wanted to hear a new album before buying it but it wasn't on the listening post in Our Price.

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12. Unless of course you could track it down in your local library.

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13. If the inlay of an album didn't have the lyrics, you just had to guess them.

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Unless they ended up getting printed in Smash Hits, of course.

14. Discovering cool bands was like doing a serious research project.

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It was a tough life before Spotify's related-artists search.

15. If you wanted to see a particular music video, you just had to sit and wait until MTV happened to play it.

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Imagine, a time when MTV played music videos!

16. Scratches on your favourite CDs were constantly ruining your life.

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Never, never lend your best albums.

17. You had to spend ages taping any CDs you wanted to listen to outside your house.

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18. You'd know the batteries were going on your Walkman when the music started to get weirdly slow.

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The more melancholy your taste, the harder it was to tell whether the power was waning.

19. Accidentally taping over a compilation someone made you was a huge risk.

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20. Just tapes full stop.

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Clunky, easily breakable, and nowhere near as cool as people are trying to claim they are now.

21. You had to buy an actual magazine to find out what was on telly.

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22. Unless you had Teletext, of course.

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Yes, there was a time when having Teletext added luxury to your viewing.

23. If there was nothing good on channels 1–4, there was simply nothing on telly.

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Unless you were one of the few fancy Dans who had Sky, and even then it was slim pickings.

24. Getting the perfect signal on your bedroom telly, and then knocking the aerial out of position was the worst thing ever.

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TV was fuzzy in the past.

25. When Rachel and Ross kissed for the first time in Friends, you had to wait a YEAR to find out what happened next.

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26. Messing up VideoPlus+ numbers meant you constantly missed things you wanted to record.

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And if programming the code foxed you too much, there was a risk you'd set the VCR to record at 8am instead of 8pm.

27. Going to the video shop and finding the film you wanted was already out was a true weekend ruiner.

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28. You couldn't settle arguments by googling to prove you were right.

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You simply had to fight it out.

29. In the absence of funny GIFs, you had to use your face or words to express feels.

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YOUR ACTUAL FACE?!