Skip To Content

    Taraji P. Henson Opened Up About Suicidal Ideation During The Pandemic

    "Our thoughts…They're that powerful."

    The COVID-19 pandemic has taken its toll on regular life in so many ways, including in the realm of mental health — a subject Taraji P. Henson recently opened up about.

    Taraji P. Henson at the 2020 American Music Awards
    Kevin Winter / Getty Images

    On a recent episode of her Facebook Watch series Peace of Mind With Taraji, Henson opened up about how a "dark moment" she felt during the pandemic led to suicidal ideation.

    "I was in a dark place," she admitted. "For a couple of days, I couldn't get out of the bed, I didn't care. That's not me. Then, I started having thoughts about ending it. It happened two nights in a row."

    Henson said that at one point she thought to herself, "I could go in there right now and just end it all, 'cause I want it to be over."

    Taraji P. Henson and American Express Launch #ExpressThanks Pop Up Cafe at Grand Central Station on March 06, 2020 in New York City
    Michael Loccisano / Getty Images

    Eventually, she decided to reach out to her friends: "I'm talking to one of my girlfriends and I knew, I was smart enough to say, 'I have to say it.' Because a part of me was ashamed. I was like, 'I don't want them to think I'm crazy. I don't want them to obsess over me or think they gotta come and sit on me.'"

    "So one day I just blurted it out to my girlfriend. She called me in the morning and I was like, 'You know I thought about killing myself last night. Oh my god, I feel so much better. I'm not gonna do it now.'"

    Taraji P. Henson on the Today show on Jan. 24, 2020
    Zach Pagano / NBC / Getty Images

    Henson went on to explain how not talking about how she felt initially exacerbated the suicidal ideation she was experiencing.

    "At first, it was like, I don't want to be here. And then I started thinking about going and getting the gun. And that's why when I woke up the next morning, I blurted it out."

    Taraji P. Henson attends the FOX Winter TCA All Star Party on Jan. 07, 2020, in Pasadena, California
    Gregg DeGuire / FilmMagic

    "Because I felt like after a while, it was going to take over me and it was going to become a plan because that's how strong my brain is. Our thoughts…They're that powerful."

    If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal ideation, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form