This post contains discussion of body image issues.
Here's a familiar scenario: You're with a bunch of people, and someone gives their opinion on something — anything. Everyone else around you seems to agree, but you think to yourself, "Man, that's actually kind of messed up."
U/MademoiselleLavande recently asked the people of Reddit, "What is a popular opinion that is actually toxic?" Look, you don't have to agree with all of these — but getting another perspective on things is always helpful:
1. "That you should always support your friends. 'Toxic positivity' is definitely a thing. Sometimes people need to know they've fucked up rather than just get affirmation from everyone."
2. "'Blood is thicker than water.' Not if you have toxic family members."
—u/SuvenPan
3. "Monetize every moment of your existence and maximize productivity at all times. RISE AND GRIND."
—u/dubbletime
4. "The idea that 'If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best' in romantic relationships. In principle, I agree with the concept of loving and accepting someone despite their flaws, but in practice this mindset quickly devolves into an excuse for people not changing their shitty, toxic behavior."
—u/nightfuryfan
5. "'Natural is better.' No, not everything that is made in a lab is toxic, and not everything that grows on trees is okay to eat."
6. "Just because you’ve had trauma in your past, that doesn’t give you an excuse to treat people poorly. I’ve seen this excuse a lot and it’s extremely toxic."
—u/elmatador12
7. "'If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem.' There are a lot of cases where the most useful contribution you can make to a problem is to acknowledge that you have nothing useful to contribute, and walk away."
—u/schnit123
8. "That everyone should have kids. Having kids when you don't want them or can't care for them leads to untold amounts of harm towards those children."
9. "'Karma will catch up to them.' Life is not fair and is definitely not balanced. Accept that fact and be grateful for the good things in your life."
10. "That unattractive people aren’t allowed to have dating preferences and should basically just settle for someone they don’t want."
11. "'Beggars can't be choosers.' LITERAL beggars can't be choosers, because they don't want to starve to death. No one has ever starved to death from being single. It is such a dumb analogy."
—u/badspaceking
12. "'Everything happens for a reason.' It's the laziest response to anything good or bad. Sometimes, shit just happens."
13. "You should always honor your elders."
14. "'Don't fix it if it's not broken.' This is how you ruin your stuff, and your relationships. This applies not only to individuals, but also to society. Entire civilizations have collapsed because they failed to adjust on time and change their ways before it became too late."
15. "Fat people are lazy slobs who deserve to suffer."
—u/fatzgenfatz
16. "'She shouldn’t have dressed like that.'"
—u/RudeEar5
17. "That climate change is too far in the future to matter. You get this from all generations, for different reasons. But the fact is that 2050, 2070, and 2100 will come, and even if you won’t be around, many people you know and care about will, and so will younger people they will come to care about. I think our society trains us to be a little selfish, to not worry too much about other people, and I hope we can break out of that in time to fix this."
—u/MagoNorte
18. "The entirety of diet culture, if you ask me. The idea that foods must be 'pure' and 'unaltered' or it 'won't do anything,' as well as the idea that 'skinny' is the only good form of healthy and if you're so much over a certain amount of weight, you're fat and unhealthy and need to make 'healthier choices.' People seem to love this idea, but it's just so toxic and leads to a lot of terrible shit."
—u/SintheYokai
19. "'If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.' If you are obligated to sugarcoat the entirety of life, you're going to miss a lot."
—u/flotsam71
Agree? Disagree? Have your own additions? See you in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.